Something for u to think about~

I pass by this church everytime when I wanna go to Uni, and there's a few times I wanted to ask someone bout it.Did u see anything different bout this church?
Maybe a close-up will show better...



Is that a grammar mistake or they really meant Assemblies of God? From grammar point of view shouldn't it be Assemblies FOR God? Or God's Assemblies?
I'm not trying to mock Christianity,just out of curiosity...Maybe someone knowledgeable can explain to me~

Carol's Farewell Party

Carol was Wendy,Pak Khuen and Feng Wei's flatmate,though i don;t live in the same flat but i often see her around because i go to their flat for dinners!
I got to know her pretty well, she is an exchange student from France who is also doing Architecture!So she is my senior too! hehe~

We had lotsa fun together too, like making the snowman, with architecture taste! HAHA!


Site seeing of Aberdeen!


As she is going back to France, we throwed a asian cooked out party for her!!

Anna, Marlene, Carol, Wendy and me!



I promised to teach Carol how to make chinese dumpling, and her bf Hugo learnt too!Along with Marlene who is also a French!



Big bowl of fruit salad!



My thai green curry! hahaha~~



Fengwei's special chicken wings!



Bloody expensive century eggs!!

I'll miss u Carol! Can't wait to see u again this summer when i'm going to France!

I'm free!! Well...Nearly~

I finish my exam today! So happy now! Though the question I aim for didn't come out, I still manage to answer the question. Though I know I could have done better all I have to do is touch up my portfolio and print them and get ready for the review on Thursday then I'm completely done with this semester.

This semester is pretty hard for me, adjusting to new life in Aberdeen and also working part time while studying in a whole new environment. I know I'm already lucky enough to be able to come to UK to further my studies and I shouldn't complain so much. However life is like that,when u have something it never seems good enough and u want something better. I guess is just human nature, never satisfied and always strive for better. Though is something good but too much of it might depressed you.

I'm glad I have learn to appreciate what I have now and still strive to be better. I used to complain about every single thing in my life. I realized now that I'm whole lot happier than before. Knowing I did my best that's all that matters to me. I often said I never regret whatsoever that I did and I know I don't.

Someone told me today that I'm too ambitious and overly confident I? I know I'm confident about myself sometimes overly but ambitious? I don't know to aim for something better for my life is too ambitious. I know I said I don't want to be just another human on earth, I want to be successful in everything I do,aiming for the highest peak. Though I know the road is hard, but I'll enjoy the challenge!

*******************************************
I change my blogskin and I really like it this time!! Thanks to blogskin.com! A wonderful website! And I also fixed my comment problem,so leave me some comments,ya!

Ciao~

story of my life PART 4

haha...finally i have time to write the last part!
ok, i'm gonna divide travel into countries that i have been!
As for the photos, u can click links and go to my MSN Space to have a look!

Starting with most recently, I came to UK in Jan and so far i've been to Highland of Scotland using the infamous Queen's trail. It was Queen Victoria's favourite scenery of Scotland, therefore is name Queen's trail. Visited 2 castle, Balmoral and Fyvie!

The University also organised a trip to the capital city of Scotland, Edinburgh! I love the old city. It full of fantastic buildings!!!

I also went to Pennan, a small fisherman town in the North. Actually is more like a mini cooper run! haha!!

Then during easter holidays, i went to Inverness,Loch Ness(no i didn't see any monster) and Isle of Skye! I really love the trip, very nice scenery all the way!! and i also visit 3 castles!!! UK has alot of castle so my aim is to vist at least 50 castle!!!!I think they got more than a thousand!
So now i have 45 castle to go!! haha~~

I really love phuket! Been there twice,going there again next month! The beach, food and shopping is so great!! It has become a yearly trip there for my mother and my stepfather. i yearns to be like them!!! but most of the time i couldn't go with them because exams! But this year,haha! no exams!!! i can't wait to go again~!!!!

I fell in love with Bali when i visit during my college final year trip! U can't believe how much photo me and my friends took!!! 4gigabytes!!! Have fun strolling my pictures...haha!! i had fun posting them up!!Bali was my shopping heaven!! The stuff there was so nice and unique plus CHEAP. i miss Bali now and then!!!Originally my mother wans to bring to Bali next month but because of the bombing,she's too worry to go there.(me too!!)

As a chinese, i dutifully went back to my roots!! i went to Hong Kong and China after my SPM! Well, the only thing i remember was i brought a pair of nike sneakers! hahaha~~~And lotsa jewellery in china, but i think is all fake...haha...Fake building also alot!!! haha~~

I'm sure most johorian been to Singapore, is a custom to me because half of my father's side family is there! Unfortunately i dun have any of the photos...hehe!!

I've also been to Philippines(i dunno if i spell correctly but i'm too lazy check...haha)when i was 16. Also visit Borocay island while i was there! fantastic...Too bad the photo was in my virus-attacked laptop and i lost all the photo...sob*

I went to Japan when i was 14. That time no digital camera, so all the pics is back home in malaysia. Disneyland was my favourite!! And i'll never the forget the first time i played with SNOW!!! Haha~~must go back again!!!


OK

now malaysia, islands first, Tioman, Redang, Penang, Langkawi, and also Crab(go there to do assignment...hahaha)!!Malaysian island are dying from pollution. It such a pity. Esspecially Redang...i love the marines there. Penang is already dead...however i miss the food there...hehe...The last time i went to Langkawi,i saw dead jellyfishes along the beach...haih...Can they do something about it??

As for the mainland, i been to all 3 famous highland, Genting, Fraser and Cameron! i like Cameron the best. The gardens and night market are great!! I love of national park! fantastic forest and unforgettable memories! I climb into a cave!! haha~~ And also our famous historical town, malacca! Been there so many times, because i LOVE the food there!!! i wanna eat melaka cendol now...!!!

i think that's all...so the places i been is not alot.. I have travel more!!hehe~~

story of my life PART 3

I finally have some time to write this post. I should be studying for my exam but need a break now...hehe..OK, names in this post will be remove to avoid any problems what i'm about to read is only my side of story so take it easy and don't get piss off with ME!!!

I started dating when i was 14, yes i know i'm too young at that time. Indeed i was and so was A,he was 15. Both of us were perfect that time, that's how we know each other.According to my dearest diary,we got together on 18th Nov 1999 and i broke up with him on 14.2.2000. Yes i know,cruel to break on Valentine's Day. I was young and got jealous when a girl talk to him more often than he talk to me. And the whole bloody December he didn't call me, and i have to find out from that girl he wasn't in town. OK,i was piss but i never let him know that. Lucky he remember my birthday and i really like the present he gave me, but that girl is seriously getting on my nerves!!!So i got fed up and I just said i wanna concrentrate on my PMR year. Then somewhere in the middle of the year, he got together with that girl...ish...PISS!!

Moving on to B, he was my senior in the temple youth group.We used to talk on the phone for hours.And on 14th Sept 2000, he popped the question.At first i thought he was joking so i said yes. After that he said he was serious. i was OMG!!! i never thought he was interesed in me but i was really glad coz i really idolise him for his commitment at the temple. He was kind-hearted,caring and very into the temple activities.Although we only see each other once a week at the temple but i really enjoyed every single i spent with him. I had a very wonderful 16th birthday with him. However after that i never got too see him again,he stopped coming to the temple i go to because he moved away. And he called on 11th Feb 2001 to break up,reason was not to hold me when he can't be by my side. Obviously i was heart broken, few days before Valentine's Day. We still keep in contact. He came over to my place to see me before i came to UK and I found out he's going to propose to his current gf. I'm happy for him~!

C was one of the guys in my hang out gang. At fist I thought he got closer to me to find more about me for his buddy, he was always casual and never gave me any hint he was interesed in me. So on a normal brakfast outing with the gang during the school holiday, he surpise me by waiting for me outside my apartment and going to the mamak together. He asked me to be his girl while walking to the mamak. I was freaking out because he was a friend and i never expected he would like me. I asked for time to think about it.I wanted to reject him because i don't wanna spoil our friendship. But on 9th of Nov 2001, all of us were at a friend's house having a party, he surpise me with a bonquet of roses and ask me the question in front of everyone. How could i said no and shame him in front of everyone. And he was really sweet and caring guy. I accepted the roses, and his face tells me i would not regret my decision. And i did not. He was really smart, help me with my studies and also become the reason i got good result. However the fact remains i don't have the same kind of feeling he had for me. I broke up with him a month later.

D was a year younger than me, we met when i was working after SPM exams. He was cute and funny. However that relationship was the shortest. 3 days...haha~~!! He went balistic because i ask a guy friend to pick me up after work.(i don't wanna walk home late at night). I was really piss, i like him but couldn't stand his immaturity. How could i blame him, he's a year younger. Hahaha...

I met E in college,he was one of my coursemate. The way he started our relationship was really funny. Not like usual, we just happened to get together. He was sweet and mature.(something i really need after D) The first few months with him was fantastic. I really thought we could last for a long time. During the semester break, i went away for a month for training.And when i got back, things with him was not fantastic anymore in fact is full of arguments. And i caught him with kissing another girl. And that explained a lot about the argument we had over a months. i can't believe i waste 5 months on him!!! ARGH~!! Fucking asshole!!! I hate two timing guys!!! They should all die and go to hell!! Lonely my ass!! Just having fun with that girl but serious bout me!! yea right!! i will never forgive you!! thanks for all the trouble u gave me!! GO TO HELL!!

OK, three months later i met F which is 20th Oct 2003. He was complete opposite of E.He doesn't smoke,drink or gamble. And he don't fool around. I had many memories with him. We were together for more than 2 years. How suitable both of us are for each other,and how well we knew each other it couldn't withstand LDR. And also we had alot of problems. I never realised i've stop loving him after those problem.(I think i mention in my blog before, so i'm not gonna go on bout it).

G and I just got out of a long term relationship. I guess it was rebound. Same goes for him. His 2 years relationship also cannot withstand LDR. So with similarities we sorted of clicked and enjoyed each other company. After a month or so, i woke up from my dream and told him is time for us to move on. We are not compatible after all.We are still really close friends and i'm glad the relationship didn't effect our friendship.

So that's all about my relationship. My heart is too sore now for any relationship. I'm tired and wants a break from couple life. I should really enjoyed my single life, is been quite sometime since i had a real break from relationship. I kinda forgot how to live my life alone. Oh well, i can start learning now! Ciao~

my dear bro....

BECAUSE KEVIN'S MSGS ARE SO BLOODY LONG AND IS FUCKING HARD TO READ IT,I'M REPOSTING WHAT HE SAID.


yo sis, saw ur msg, sorry, was bz wit reports n essays....last minute work as usual... saw the email..even read ur frens comments...frankly speakin, **** was like a bro to me then
its not ez to be betrayed by a true fren u call bro...n i was close to both *** n ****...they were my good frens....but seriously, takin it out on me wasnt in my list...i was shocked when he hit me
i didnt wan2 fight back cos we were really close...but hey, who knew?u would never betray my frens just bcos of my chick...not ****in way...
sorry, it was "I" would never betray my frens...****in caffein n cold weather... my hands are shakin now....there was another reason y i didnt fight back, but dat was a personal reason..
n fightin back would also just meant that i was immatured as well...so wtf for?it was a lost cause...seen no reason to do so...
conclusion, ppl show their true side when anger n frustration gets to them, n takin it out on some1 is d only cure instead of blamin themselves was a good was of not admitin one's own fault...
sis, ive got nothin to say, do wat u think is rite, wat u want...if u want to keep a good fren, go ahead, if u wanna lose 1, pls do so 2...
bear in mind dat u would come across more probs if nothin has changed in them since those days...n old habits die hard....
as for me, i a more rational person, figthin back when ive done nothin wrong?wtf for?if i did, it would only mean dat i did something to betray them both...figthin without a cause was my yester-years
im not up for it now...hesitation was due to the long frenship i had, not bcos of fear n hate...anger was bcos of lack of common sense, not betrayal...lost of faith was bcos of betrayal...
complicated is the ultimate form of simplicity...know ur frens well, n know ur true frens even better...n never betray them, they are the second thing dat comes after family n loved ones...
hey Jo, i know u la!!! we met each other the nite b4 jess left msia!!! 4got liao ar?? u were d one 'palm readin' every1's hand...lol...

WELL I DON'T REALLY CLASSIFIED WHAT SHE DID AS BETRAYAL BUT IS NOT STANDING UP FOR ME WHEN I NEEDED HER TO THUS BETRAYING MY TRUST IN HER. I LOVE HER ENOUGH TO TAKE THE RISK OF PROBLEM OF 'OLD HABITS' BUT SHE HAVE TO TAKE THE CHANCE TO TALK TO ME AND NOT BLAMING ME FOR HER UNHAPPINESS ON HER BLOG.
I KNOW MY FRIENDS WELL, I KNOW WHO IS MY TRUE FRIENDS AND I TRUST YOU, MY DEAREST BROTHER.I'M NOT THE SAME GIRL U KNEW IN SECONDARY SCHOOL, I'M MATURED AND KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH PROBLEMS BETTER. I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF EXPLOSIVE TEMPER ANYMORE. dON'T WORRY.

p.s.:
JO IS VERY FORGETFUL, ESPECIALLY WHEN I'M DISTURBING HER WORK TO TALK ABOUT IT. SO DON'T BLAME HER.

SORRY SEEMS TO BE THE HARDEST WORD

I got a very surprising email yesterday for a friend. Is the FIRST explanation I got from her about what happened between us.
This is what she wrote in the email~~(name are remove)

Dear Jing Sze,(that’s me if u dunno)

I've read your blog, and there are a few things that I really need to say. I don't even remember whether I've actually mentioned some of these things before, but I think i should for once and all, explain myself and leave it up to you believe what you choose to believe.
From the moment we became best friends, I've always really, really loved you. I've loved every single time we spent together, I loved it that you were such a loving and caring friend. You were the nicest person that I had ever met; so sweet, so sincere. A friend indeed, and even my family loved you for who you were. I'm sure that through the years, you must have felt even the slightest bit the same toward me, otherwise you wouldn't have been my best friend. I can't believe that all those years and memories, will be thrown away just like that in one moment!
All along, ever since the beginning, I've known that you didn't like ****, and **** didn't like you very much. It was a disaster waiting to happen, I felt, because any small thing could spark a huge fight with the both of you so wary of eachother. Anyway, when it comes to the past, we will never know the truth; when incidents happen, one party will say one thing, the other will say another; for me, I choose to not side any side and I really hope you feel the same. I mean this in the sense, that you mentioned Siew Yoong dumped **** because he kept dissing Bhavisha; he told me he dumped her because he was fed up of the fighting. I say, whatever. That was in the past, it has no significance at this time. People grow up over the times, and people mature. You know for a fact that guys mature slower than girls. There was one incident I thought was stupidly ridiculous, even you would laugh; when we were playing Neopets and you gave **** a poisonous lollipop, he said that you wanted to kill him...LOL. Okok, anyway, my point is this; I think you know, **** HATES it when someone talks bad about him. Things are like that until now.
Let me explain my part of the Kevin incident, then you decide whether I'm the devil that you think I am, purposely betraying people like it's so fun like that. Kevin was a really close friend, and he just came in and talked to me about **** at the wrong time; exactly during the time when **** and I were having an argument on the phone. I didn't know **** was so sensitive at that time, I don't even remember what Kevin said. But I used it against **** like, "Why are you so bla bla bla bla?" and I said this after I told him I got off the phone with Kevin. Surprisingly, he didn't get that pissed. The next day at school, as usual I waited for him to find me during break, but he didn't so I stayed in class with Daarsh, then only awhile later we went down to find him, but I couldn't find him at all. When **** came to find me and said something like he slapped Kevin or something, I argued back, asking why he did it, what was he thinking. And he got really pissed at me, and asked why I was defending Kevin and all that. But too late; the damage had already been done. Do you think I like what happened to Kevin? Until now I still think about it, but you can't blame me for something that wasn't my fault. I knew there was no way I could patch things up with Kevin and it really hurt that at that time, I lost a good friend. You have NO idea how I felt, so it's not as simple as "oh I betrayed him, end of story". It hurt me so badly to see him look at me with such hate after that, and it was worse after **** told me he beat him up. I never asked for any of that!
And then it came to you; you say that I betrayed you to get **** back, you KNOW it's not true. I was so hurt when you said that. **** and I had gotten back together for quite some time already, when he decided to follow me to cheerleading once because he had nothing better to do. Then he got really pissed when I fell and he claimed Justin grabbed my ass. That's his temper. Anyway, you and I know for a fact that I would have just fallen if he didn't catch me, I told this to him MANY, MANY times but he doesn't listen. But that's how he is. Anyway, because of that incident, I quit cheerleading and told you on MSN, and being the person you are, you felt it was ridiculous because I loved cheerleading, how could I quit because of him? And then you said he was immature, and that if you had a bf like that, you would dump him straight away. I made a mistake, I'm sorry. But I was so fucked up from arguing with **** online as well, I told him that he was being immature about it, and that you would dump your bf if he was like that. This was our FIRST argument after getting back together, and he blew up at being called immature, and thought you were asking ME to dump HIM so then out of his anger he took things out on you. I know now, I should have said something to defend you. I always had before if he had the slightest bit problem with you. But at THAT time, I didn't know what to say. It was getting bad; there are times when you just really don't know what to say. And even if I said something, I feel things would have gotten worse, with him blowing up more, and with you blowing up at him more. I knew you would be mad, I thought we'd take a few days to let you cool down before I explained myself. But the day when you would cool down, obviously never came.
The thing is, I do love cheerleading. But I loved it MORE when we had a purpose; working toward a competition, that it didn't seem so important anymore when I quit. And through the years, I'm sure you know that we have very different personalities; but then again, opposites attract. You are more confrontational, I'm a whole lot more passive. And I know you're pissed that I can't speak up when the time comes, but that's something that's been part of me all my life, until now. And even **** knows that he was really immature in his college days, he keeps telling me now that he can't believe he was the way that he was. You can't change people and who they are; like his bad temper. But I don't want something as small as this getting in the way of our friendship. I know you feel very strongly about this, and you're probably still hating me, still wishing that I'd just go back to Hell like the devil I am, but the fact is I still cherish our friendship enough to write an e-mail to you. You were my best friend; and it was for more than 2 years, it was for 3 and a half. Honestly, do you want everything to just slip away just like that, like a bad memory?
I hate to say this, but if Kevin never forgives me, I'm fine with it. But you were my best friend! My BESTEST friend. And I can't believe that with just one incident, you're willing to let all that go. Well I'm not willing to. I'm sorry for what happened, I truly am. I can't turn back time, and I'm only human. I make mistakes, so does everyone else. But please don't think that I wanted this AT ALL. Betray is such a harsh word; I never did such a thing. Your post really hurt me alot; I cried all night wondering how I wanted to explain things to you, and secretly I feared that you wouldn't listen. But if you didn't write that post, I wouldn'thave written this mail; maybe it was a blessing in disguise. I still love you lots; I don't want our friendship to go just like that. And I know that it just takes a small incident for you to lose your trust in someone, but bear in mind that it was something I didn't want to happen. I really hope things will get better between us; you're worth it. Please reply.

Love,
***

Well, I read and I UNDERSTAND but doesn’t mean I agree to your actions. I admit I got some of my facts wrong in my previous post. But that was just a conclusion of the incident. I didn’t remember the incident in detail to write in detail. And I’m confused so I had a talk with my close friend Jo. And never once in our conversation I bitching or said I hate u. I’m only PISS!!

j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i'm having a prob
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wassup
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keep gng
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
have u read my blog?
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
just read the most recent 1
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
then go to ur mail box and read the email my fren sent
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hmmmm....
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can send me a picture of this ****
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ sends:



Transfer of "Image(19).jpg" is complete.

j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
y u need his picture for?
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jst need to see y it is u don like him...hehe
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jst finish reading the email...man that's long
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i know
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so u want a crit
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i wan some opinion
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
1 is my brother
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
1 is used to be my best friend
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i dunno who to trust
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
huh....best fren = ***....brother...which one?!?
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
kevin
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oh...
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
wat is kevin side of story
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
be4 he told me the reason he got beat up
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
the word betray didn't appear in my mind
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keep gng
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
but i was just really piss she didn't stand on my side
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
understandable
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
when i tell ppl about it i stuck at the word betray
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
ppl would say the word but i never thought is was it
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
just !!!!!
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y did kevin go to see *** at the time?
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
becoz she was upset
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
from arguing with that gwee
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so he was trying to comfort her?
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
yea
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
and he's not interested in her
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i figured that part
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
he was after another girl
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ok....honestly...from wat i can gather, cos this is a very long time process
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
my brother is a really sweet guy
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betray doesn't occur in my mind also, to me this whole situation looks like a matter of miscommunication and clash of character
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
the most she could have done was ask her bf to apologize or she do it but she never did
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
i can see y u got mad at her, if it were me i'd be pretty pissy to...
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i'm really piss at that
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yeah...i don't blame u, she's really very 'passive'
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i'm also piss at my bro for not telling me that
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i would have kick that guy ass back
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
u didn't see how my bro look that
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...i'll join u
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really beaten up?
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
seriously i was heart broken
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
yea!!!!
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
and he never hit that gwee back
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
sigh...u're being pulled this wayn that
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
he said no point
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i said at least defend ursself
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in this case, he's being a dunderhead
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
comon my bro is a black belt holder man!!!!
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can never say no point if ppl this angry
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...k k k k
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
wat's dunderhead?
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idiot
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sed in a typical jo lingo
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
hhaaha
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
that's was i said
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
but he being a sweet and peaceful guy
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
haih
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
...its the sweet ones that u need to fear their anger
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
haha..i know i seen
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seriously la girl, both sides are right AND wrong
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
but seriously within reasons
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
so???
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
how????
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
cynthia was a 'dunderhead' for not sticking up to her friends, her priorities are off, and she lets her bf walk over her blaming it on his temper, bt don't forget, this is her character, she didn't really do anything wrong
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
kevin, he's right in his indignation, bt he doesn't need to get into a fight
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...honestly, ur position, wat do u think u shud do
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
he didn't fight
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
that **** beat him up
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oOo...
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...that clears up alot
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ok ok...then in this case...**** is the dunderhead
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
and my bro didn't hit him back
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
he's an immature snit who needs to get a handle on his temper, and learn to use his temper more productively
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
haih...like that ah, then ur bro is blameless, ur fren cynthia needs to learn to control her bf
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
yea
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i know that
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
but wat should i do now?
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i wan a happy ending
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
how can this situation be happy ending?
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
ah...
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
the key is ***
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
get her to realise her mistakes, understand her weaknes, and grow into a confident young lady...hehe
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
yea right
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
that will never happened, she love him too much to go against him
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
...u sed u want happy ending
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
sigh...u alr kno the answer, so wats the problem
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i wan that gwee to apologize to me and my bro
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
if he can do that i apologize for calling him immature
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
....two bulls fighting with VERY sharp horns
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
huh?
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
...u are bull no1...**** is bull no 2
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
stubborn like crazy...
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i fight for my rights
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i dun let ppl bully me
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
and get away with it
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
...U GO GIRL!!!!!!!
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
...bt seriously, some fights can't be done with stubborness
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
need some form of compromise
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i compromising
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i'm apologizing for something i said that is not wrong
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
brb
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i going for lunch
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
...AFTER he apologize
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
that's not really a compromise, more like an ultimatum...
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
ok
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
enjoy
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
wat;s ultimatum?
ڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
shoot
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
like u say u'll only do something if the other person first does something
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
obviously no point for me to apologize to a dunderhead
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
when he haven't realise his mistake
ەڰ The end is . . . sigh . . . soooo far away says:
...talk to him one on one with nobody nearby
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
har?? but he's in msia
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
fat chance


After this conversation with Jo, I wanted to reply to *** explaining to her I love her a lot too and she was a good friend who just made a mistake. I’m willing to forgive him if he willing to apologize. But I had to go out and by the time I got back, I receive MSN msg from *** saying I’m avoiding her. Worried she might misunderstand, I email her explaining that I wasn't in to reply when she msg and I’m not avoiding her. If I’m avoiding her I could have just block her from msg me or couldn’t even bother to reply.

Later I visit her blog, the most recent post was bout me…

You know what are 2 of the fakest words you'll ever hear?
I understand.
No, you'll NEVER understand. Whoever tells you that is a big, fat LIAR! No two people are ever alike. No two personalities are ever the same. And if you weren't there when it happened, even more reason to stop assuming that what YOU presume is a fact. If you are not me, if you don't know what went on, if you don't know what was going through my head, then DON'T assume and don't think you can understand me. You'll never know EXACTLY how things were!

WHEN I SAID I UNDERSTAND I MEANT I UNDERSTAND, IF U THINK I’M LYING SO BE IT. YOU ARE ENTITLED TO THINK WHAT U LIKE.

But I'm tired...honestly. I'm sorry you feel that way, you may hate me as I'm sure you do. You may think, "Oh, since someone else feels that way, she MUST be this terrible, fucked up person." So you've got a heart made of tougher material than mine. I don't want to explain myself to you because I've found that all attempts of doing so are futile. I don't even think I want to bother.

I WONDER HOW COULD UR ATTEMPT TO EXPLAIN TO BE FUTILE WHEN THIS IS THE FIRST TIME U EXPLAINED TO ME WHAT HAPPENED? IF IS FULITE, I WOULDN’T EVEN BE BOTHER READING IT!!

WHEN have I said anything about you here? You may think it's because you've done nothing to me except be a friend, and I'm sure you have. Why do you want to throw EVERYTHING away on something, that looking back now, seems so trivial? Everyone has their quirks I'm sure you of all people should know that. I respected your decisions in life, why did you never see things my way?

OHHH, U HAD MAYBE U DON’T REMEMBER?? I READ ONCE ABOUT HOW U FALL OUT WITH A FRIEND. AFTER READING THAT VERY POST, THE FIRST THING I DID WAS TO TALK TO U,ASKING WHEN DID WE FALL OUT. I TRY TO PATCH THINGS UP! I NEVER DID THROW EVERYTHING AWAY. EVER SINCE THE INCIDENT HAPPENED, I NEVER CLOSE MY DOOR TO U. I BEEN HELDING THE DOOR, WAITING FOR U TO COME IN AND APOLOGISE FOR THAT MISTAKE. IF I WAS WILLING TO THROW THE FRIENDSHIP AWAY, I WOULDN’T BE BOTHER TO TALK TO U AFTER READING UR BLOG POST, I WOULDN’T INVITING U TO MY FAREWELL PARTY,MIND U I ALREADY KNOW BOUT KEVIN THAT TIME BUT I DIDN’T SHOVED U ASIDE AND PRETENDED U NEVER EXIST. 2 YEARS SINCE THAT INCIDENT HAPPENED, I NEVER HEARD AN EXPLANATION FROM U UNTIL I WROTE ABOUT IT IN MY PREVIOUS POST,U BEEN KEEPING QUIET BOUT THE INCIDENT I HAD NEVER ASK FOR AN EXPLANATION BECAUSE I THOUGHT U WILL EXPLAIN AND APOLOGISE. HOW COULD I SEE THING YOUR WAY WHEN U DON’T LET ME???

Well, I'm glad you've found a partner to have a good bitch out of me. In time, things would probably have gotten better, but you wouldn't have given it a chance to heal itself.
I read your blog.

I NEVER BITCHING BOUT U NOR I EVER SAID I HATE U. I’M JUST PISS IT THAT IT TOOK U SO LONG TO EXPLAIN. I GAVE U A LOT OF CHANCE, I NEVER SHUT U OUT OF MY LIFE, IS U WHO NEVER GRAB THE CHANCE. I KNOW U ARE A PASSIVE PERSON AND I’M CONFRONTATIONAL BUT I’M TIRED OF BEING THE PERSON TO CALL U UP AND TRYING TO KEEP THE FRIENDSHIP ALIVE. IS YOUR TURN NOW!

The world is a cruel,cruel place

THE WORLD IS NOT THAT CRUEL IF U DON’T SHUT YOURSELF AWAY AND BLAME IT ON OTHERS FOR BEING CRUEL.

After reading her blog, I was confused and upset so I talk to Ken about it.
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
hey
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i got a prob
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
u read my lastest blog entry rite?
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
about the best friend that betray me
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
she send me an email
ken~reality hurts says:
yeah.
ken~reality hurts says:
and?
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i sent that email to u d
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
read it and tell me wat u think
ken~reality hurts says:
alright. will read it now.
ken~reality hurts says:
can i ask u something?
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
yea?
ken~reality hurts says:
she read ur blog then she sent the mail to u?
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
yea
ken~reality hurts says:
i wanted to ask u why u trust me so much? if so why my name is not on the trusted list ar?
ken~reality hurts says:
hahaha
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
hmmm
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i never thought of it
ken~reality hurts says:
im just joking only. no need to be serious.
ken~reality hurts says:
never thought of what?
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
nth
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
and read her blog
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:

j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i read dunno what to say
ken~reality hurts says:
alright. give me a few minutes
ken~reality hurts says:
i finished reading the mail u fowarded.
ken~reality hurts says:
u replied ur fren ady?
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
not yet
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i wanted
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
but after reading her blog
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
kinda piss now
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
she post that up after she msg me online but i wasn't in to reply
ken~reality hurts says:
hmm... why is she telling another story in her blog?
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i dunno
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
that's why i'm confused now
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ sends:


j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
read that
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i actually talk to my other fren bout it
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i really wanted to forgive her but her blog post serious making doubting my decision

Transfer of "me and jo conversation.doc" is complete.

ken~reality hurts says:
she said something like u found a parner to bitch about her. is it this conversation?
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
i didn't bitch bout her
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
she haven't read this conversation also
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
maybe she thinks i'm bitching bout her on my blog
ken~reality hurts says:
and why is she saying so?
ken~reality hurts says:
oh...
ken~reality hurts says:
and who's kevin?
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
my petbro
j3sSyi got cheated~~~ says:
he's mentioned in my blog
j3sSyconfused~~~ says:
i'm going out
j3sSyconfused~~~ says:
ttyl
ken~reality hurts says:
sorry... i kind of forgot about it. cant remember so much.
j3sSyconfused~~~ says:
just leave ur opinion here
j3sSyconfused~~~ says:
i read it later
ken~reality hurts says:
alright... ur main point of arguing with her was because of kevin and ****
j3sSyconfused~~~ says:
no
j3sSyconfused~~~ says:
read the email properly
ken~reality hurts says:
ok
j3sSyconfused~~~ says:
gtg
ken~reality hurts says:
i'll leave my comment here, anything, u just mail me back.
j3sSyconfused~~~ says:
ok
ken~reality hurts says:
alright, i read ur conversation with ur fren jo. I agree with her. the major problem is with that **** guy. ( seriously i think he looks like a dumb ass, saw his pic ). i dont really know why u would want him to apologise to u. since u said that ur petbro is a black belt holder, why wouldn't he defend himself? im a black belt holder too... and frankly, i would never let ppl hit me for no reasons.
ken~reality hurts says:
so maybe u should ask ur pet bro about this. giving excuses like i dont wanna start a fight is pretty riddiculuous for me.
ken~reality hurts says:
well, i got a phrase that might help u make up ur mind. Friends come and go dear, they are like stations in our life. If u like that station, u can stay longer, but if u dont like it, u should just move on. remember that always. u should now think back how much does ur friendship with her worth.
ken~reality hurts says:
u can't really blame her about her bf thingy. Like what jo said, she should learn how to control her bf but not let him become a jack ass in front of others.
ken~reality hurts says:
i wont tell u whether u should accept her as a fren or not. u have to make the decision urself. just think about the phrase i said earlier on. friends come and go in our life. if only they are really worth, then u should do something. if not, just let it flow on.
ken~reality hurts says:
anything just mail me k? i need to get some sleep ady. hope what i said can help u in making the decision. take care. i miss talking to u.

I haven’t reply Ken on what he said, so I wanted **** to apologise to me because I don’t close my heart to forgive. An asshole he might be but, if he’s willing to apologize and change his temper, I’m willing to forgive. I really like this station that why I’m bothered to do something and stay even the station’s manager and I had a fight. The day of forgiveness and forget the incident will never come unless u do something bout it. U can’t expect me to forgive and forget when I didn’t know what really happened and was left to assumed what happened on my own for 2 freaking years!
As for my petbro case, I leave it for now as is between him and ****. That’s all I have to say.Is up to u to believe or close down our friendship.

story of my life PART 2

i know someone can't wait to read more bout me but first....

I MADE CHEESECAKE TODAY!!! muahaha...to celebrate the hand in of my last assignment!! yea~ and is a success,nice baked and well decorated greek yogurt cheesecake!!!

Nice leh...the picture was taken with my phone camera so a little blur, coz my camera-sucky 1 decided to be out of battery!ish...

********************************************************
right, back to my story...Friends

i'm sure everyone have plenty of friends all their life, friends come and go but the 1 that really stay by u are true friends.hmmm...where should i start?? i dun really remember my primary school friends history..Except for friends from standard 5 & 6coz most of them went to the same secondary school with me. Those that were really close to my was Sharon,Jemimah, Yin Shan and Bhavisha. OMG... is really funny now to think about what happened. We fight like cats and dogs but made up within minutes~~ Crazy bunch!!! I remember there's once me and jemimah slap each other coz we were arguing bout something really badly.. Both of us started crying like mad and went home to complained to our mothers. By the next day we were like good friends all over again. My mother and hers often get headache from both of us arguing!! Mainly because both us of stayed in the same apartment so our mothers are friends also because of both of us.Sharon being my best friend and jemimah's is always the peacemaker. Poor Sharon always stuck between two of us...haha...Somehow after standard 6, Sharon had to leave malaysia because her family is migrating to Aus. I cry when i had to send her off.She my first and nicest ever best friend, though we promise to keep in touch with each other. We wrote letters to each other for a year or two and the last letter i sent to her was sent back saying she have move away. After that i stop writing to her because i never got a mail back from her to tell me her new add. oo..well...

Then in form 1 and 2 it was Zaza and Jemimah. I was never their best friend or vice versa. We just don't click that well...And in form 3 i meet ***(i have to keep her name unknown because i promised and dun worry nobody that reads my blog know u) and Sher May, both them are like my good friends until Sher May did something really bad(i can't remember what).And *** and I became best friends,leaving out Sher May. Both of us were never in the same class but somehow we can read each other's mind without any problem. Like i was saying a sentences and she know hows to end it. Then she got herself a boyfriend. I know the guy longer than her and i know he had a bad history of relationship coz he was dating Sarah and always dissed Bhavisha. Sarah got fed up of him talking bad about her best friend and dump him.Of coz I was worried that i'm gonna lose my best friend to that guy.She promised i wouldn't, she keep her promise for 2 years then when we got to college she betray me to get the guy back who had two timed her. Just great~~We tried to patch things up but somehow i don't trust her anymore.Our friendship sort just die off like that. Anyway maybe is just my bad luck none of my best friend stay around for long. Jemimah was still around along with my pet sis Vivienne since form 3. Then we went to college Jemimah went astray with a faggot. Her mother was really upset. I can't really believe when i heard she ran away with a indian faggot. (i call that guy faggot because he's a gambler and drug addict) She claimed he quit drug and gambling for her,so fine...but i got a call from her last to borrow money. Many of our cheerleading gang got the call 2... After that i never hear from her again. What really surpise me about my circle of friend are not so close friend but know each other well enough that keep in touch the most. Like Sze Nee and Lay Theng organised my farewell party before i came to UK.

Then my longest friend to out to be my pet bro whom i know since standard 1. We weren't really close but always there for each other. And i found out something really depressing and totally angers me. He kept his distance away from me in form 4 & 5.I never knew why until like last month!!! Apparently *** did the same thing to him and he's was worried that it would spoil our friendship. I wished he told me that time. Though i got off easier than him,(i just got some cocked up guy scolding me nonsense over msn and he got beaten by that ass-hole guy!!)i still feel that i could have gotten my facts right earlier. Sure will save me alot of pain and unnessary trouble.Haih...kor kor...still loves u, take care and i wan u to know i totally trust just forgot to put ya in my trust list.

Anyway, in my college years. My favourite person to hang out,clubbing and go red box was Soo Pin. We knew each other from secondary but was never close. Somehow in different college, different course we grew close. How weird something are??
As for my coursemates, Jackie, Hui San and Renae are my closest friends. I really miss those times when we go for class trip especially Taman Negara coz that's was the only trip beside the compulsory malacca trip, all four of us went!All smelly and dirty from the cave exploring...haha..i never wore that white pants ever again!!!

Though being in the same course and graduating together all four of us go our separate ways.Me in UK, Hui San in Aus,Jackie and Renae working.Not forgetting the guys...beer bottle mou??? haha!!! yes i know i steal ur fav word,Beng...

Thanks for spending ur time listening to my complains and coming to UK, u have to been my only source of letting out here!! *hugz *hugz

Thought i forgot bout u eh, Jo??? Of course NOT!!! Just saving the best for the last...hahaha...I met this crazy girl during our prom organising comittee,i was suppose to arrange something for my cheerleading team to perform but end up help miss chairperson to organise the prom.

SAQS PROM 2004

SAQS PROM 2005
She is the best person to go shopping with. hahaha~~ good taste like ME!! hehe..more like same taste and we like mostly the same stuff. Always there for me, if not i would have go into depression.An angel sent from heaven to help me out.(even when i'm UK having accommodation problem, a word from her solved my prob!! can't wait for u to come here girl!!!)

And now me alone in UK, doing well and fine and missing my good friend Jo who is in msia and my dearest kor kor in Aus. Spend quite alot of money to call them when i first got here...but is all worth it!! Nothing beats comforting words and heaps of advices from people who cares bout me. So people have ur horizon wiew broader, friends are everywhere though they come and go~~Appreciate them and u will be hugely rewarded maybe not now but it would come...Just like me~!=P