Expectation

Time flies.

I been working for 2 years now.
It's seem that I have not achieved anything.

Sometimes I ask myself...What do i need in life? What can I achieve? What do I expect myself to do in 5, 10, 15 years time?

Am in doubt. I know what i what? Is what i want what i need? Is what i want too high of an expectation. I mean am already 26 years old. In a month's time i'll be 27! the big 30 is just 3 years away!

The norm of society, peer-pressure, self-pride. Should what i what i wanna do next be effected by these factors?

I often think am the odd 1 out of norm..

Guess this normal, since am always the weird 1.

depressed

OK, i been depressed for more than 2 days now..

been hypnotising myself to think everything is fine, i'll be alright.

am normal when am with ppl...well sort of..

but when am alone...my mind wanders, thinking of past mistakes, regrets, etc etc

how can this happened to me?

am always a no regret person.

what is wrong with me?

i can't calm down..

just stupid heavy heart feeling and pressure in my stomach..

am i going crazy?

or is it just stress?

what's my purpose in life? this question been popping in my head constantly.

i need a light.

no aim in life

been really confused lately...

No idea what am doing, whether what am doing has it purpose in life.

Been working, come home, sleep, wake up and go to work.

Pay is not so good, just enough to survive.

and been doing this routine over 1.5years now.

Is like after coming back from UK, everything is not what i want to do

and am just doing it for the sake of living.

Life shouldn't be this way.