Expectation

Time flies.

I been working for 2 years now.
It's seem that I have not achieved anything.

Sometimes I ask myself...What do i need in life? What can I achieve? What do I expect myself to do in 5, 10, 15 years time?

Am in doubt. I know what i what? Is what i want what i need? Is what i want too high of an expectation. I mean am already 26 years old. In a month's time i'll be 27! the big 30 is just 3 years away!

The norm of society, peer-pressure, self-pride. Should what i what i wanna do next be effected by these factors?

I often think am the odd 1 out of norm..

Guess this normal, since am always the weird 1.

depressed

OK, i been depressed for more than 2 days now..

been hypnotising myself to think everything is fine, i'll be alright.

am normal when am with ppl...well sort of..

but when am alone...my mind wanders, thinking of past mistakes, regrets, etc etc

how can this happened to me?

am always a no regret person.

what is wrong with me?

i can't calm down..

just stupid heavy heart feeling and pressure in my stomach..

am i going crazy?

or is it just stress?

what's my purpose in life? this question been popping in my head constantly.

i need a light.

no aim in life

been really confused lately...

No idea what am doing, whether what am doing has it purpose in life.

Been working, come home, sleep, wake up and go to work.

Pay is not so good, just enough to survive.

and been doing this routine over 1.5years now.

Is like after coming back from UK, everything is not what i want to do

and am just doing it for the sake of living.

Life shouldn't be this way.

After 2 years

I finally got a chance to go back to Malaysia in January. I didn't get the chance to go home for nearly 2 years because i stupidly failed my design last year.. So had to stay in UK during summer last year to resubmit my work! urgh!

Though I only got to go home for 10 days, it was well worth it! Plus I have to do my IC before my 24th birthday. Almost everyone asked, why go back for 10 days and when I say I have to do my IC... The reply I got was 'huh?' or 'u didn't do it when you were 18?'

Then i have will have to explained about the time I got robbed when I was 17 and have to redo my IC 2 weeks before my 18th birthday and that didn't counted as my adult IC. So the IC people asked me to do before I'm 24, hence 10 days before my 24th birthday I had to fly back and do my IC..... Imagine I have to explain this long winded explanation each time someone asked me why I only went back for 10 days! LOL!!

Anyway, I missed CNY by 3 days!! Urgh! Because classes started on the first day of CNY..So as I was helping my mum out to prepare for CNY, I can't help but to feel sad for myself, missing CNY for the fourth time..


I finally got to meet my nephew for the first time!! He's super duper cute!


Lil Jun with daddy~He exactly like his daddy when we compared with his daddy's baby picture!


Another pic of Jun with my sister teasing by pretend to bite him! He just giggling and try to catch her with his lil hand..

I miss him very much! Can't wait to see him again!

Staying awake

Final crit at 9am! I'm so nervous right now! Done my work but don't dare to go to sleep. I'm afraid i might not get up in time.
Just finish taking a nice hot shower, wide awake now with nothing to do.

So I decided to blog a bit! Since i haven't blog for over 3 months now! =P I know I know, I've been busy to the extent of forgetting I actually have a blog. hahaha! That was archi'torture' do to you!

I can't wait for all these to be over and done with! 7 years of studies is more than enough to last me a lifetime! But I can't help to wonder what I'm going to next! Getting a job now is near impossible with the credit crunch/recession whatever they called it.

Maybe I'll go traveling! I always wanted to go visit around the world! Must save so money first though! =P Anyone wanna go with me? Traveling alone is so lonely not to mention dangerous. Let me know ya if anyone is still reading my blog!(i doubt it though since my blogging is practically non existent!)

Note to self: Must blog more often!

New place

I moved to a new place! Is right in the city centre now! We had a Christmas party last week!So much fun! The living room is much bigger and there's enough seats for everyone. Beats sitting on the floor at my old place! =P

Lotsa of food as usual! Plus Sharif,my new housemate is also a good cook!


Sushi by me since is obviously my specialty! =P


Thanks for coming people!!

Steamboat

I promised LinZhi ages ago to have a steamboat my place since she never been to my place. Finally had one last Sat, hoho~~

Shauqi, Abad & Anna


Anna, Linzhi & Joni are too hungry!


This is about quarter of the food we had, the rest all in the pot already before i could take picture. =P


Thanks for coming everyone! ^^

Sushi

I make sushi again, really feel like a housewife now. =P

Smoked salmon, a bargain 2 for 5pounds.

All roled up and ready to be cut!

The job finished!

hehe!! Looks pro doesn't it? =P

Free again~!!

I know I said that I'll blog constantly again... But i was really busy... Doing my resubmission. Can't believe I failed 1 subject.. T_T Can't graduate with everyone else last month. Just resubmitted my work last week. Hopefully I'll pass this time, if not i can't start my Master this September...

13th June
Well, since i submitted my work, I'm free to blog again! Yippee!! Road trip!With Emily, Ah Boon and my baby~~

Us at Stirling Castle~


Stirling Castle


William Wallace Monument! The climb is exhausting!


Just practising my phototaking skills, my baby and Ah Boon..


It was raining when we reach stonehaven ( yes i went there again)


And 10 mins later..

Beautiful isn't it?

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30th June
Mein mein's graduation! Congrats cousin! Muaks!!


With my uncle and auntie outside mein's graduation Hall~


Cheers! Is not just orange juice, got champagne in it!


With Huei in the Hall, we were very bored! LOL!!


1st July
I went to Wendy's place to stay and the next day Mein brought the family over for a trip~ Since it's been ages I last seen my family, so I went along. =P

At Carlton Hill

Me and Huei

Mein and me

Edinburgh Castle

This week and last week..

Super long post, cause i been lazy and haven't been updating.

31st of May
All girls picnic! yippee, well sort of. The forecast was for sunny day but it turn out to be cloudy and windy. =(
We still had fun, watching guys playing cricket!

Me and Anna, posing to Judy's camera and Linzhi took this. Very nice hor!


Look at the amount of food we had!!


Judy, why the sour face???


Najla!! Wake up! LOL~


Wendy, Martin and Pak Khuen came to Aberdeen, Pak Khuen got a job in Edinburgh. So need to pack everything down. Congrats!!! Went clubbing at Priory that night with Joni, Wendy and Martin!
Cam whoring half the time!


Martin & Wendy~


I was requested to do a sexy pose. Not very sexy hor?


The 3 hot chichas~!!


Bumped into Masaki, he joined us after his friend left him alone for a chick. Lol~~ Poor Masaki. Smile!! Don't be sad~~


Joni lost her jacket, some idiot threw our jackets around. Luckily i found mine. =P
Don't be sad, Joni. I'll get you a new one. ^^


Joni was a little drunk by that time and she wanted to go to Espionage. Martin was tired since he got up very early and drove from Edinburgh. So Wendy and Martin went home first. Along with my house keys. =P


At Espionage.


Cute pose this time, better than the sexy pose hor? =P


Another take~


At Espionage, we were joined by the guys, Hassan, Savio, Viknesh, Sam and Jaya.


Joni bumped into her workmates as well.


After Espionage, Hez came and pick me, Joni and Masaki up to Khai's place. No pictures, i haven't got them from Najla. ^^ Will update that later.

1st of June
Najla's kitchen was burnt! Sharif left the shove on and completely forgotten about it! So they can't cook at home, came to my place to cook instead! Goody, i wasn't feeling well that day is a good thing got someone cook for me!! Yippee~~

See how much Najla cooked!!!


A bucket of spaghettis!!!


Yummy~!! It's very good~!!


Thanks for cooking ,Najla!


Sharif, what u doing in my kitchen?? 'not spicy enough la, i adding chili sauces'


2nd of June
Steamboat at my place!! Paiseh, no pics~ We were very hungry so couldn't be bother with pics! Thanks for coming, Syaz, Joni, Hez, Najla and Sharif!

3rd of June
Since there were so much leftovers from the previous day, Najla, Hez and Sharif came over for dinner. ^^ This time Chef Jessica is cooking! ^^

4th of June
Stayed at home and did nothing! LOL~~

5th of June
Got an early morning wake up call from Hez. Najla's going back to Msia today. So we are sending her off. Bye dear, eat my portion of food in Msia ya! ^^ Missing you already!


Reach home, got a text from Ciaran about 5710 meeting at 3pm. Shit... i nearly forgot about it. Went back to town by bus, had the meeting and went shopping! LOL~~

Wanted to get a short, since summer is here. Got this from Topshop.


Saw this waist belt at Quiz, couldn't resist it. Love it at first sight.


Went to Primark to get these for Wendy, since there's no Primark in Edinburgh.


I ended up buying these for myself! =P


Went out for dinner with Melina,Han Jian and Bryan at a small Hungarian restaurant. Very romantic hor?


That's the empty plate of our starters. We were hungry. =P


Our side dish, pickled salad.


Melina's main course. Forgot what's it called. But is spiced beef with Hungarian pasta. Bryan had the same thing.


Han Jian's. Completely forgot what's it or called. =P


Mine! Roast Game. Wild boar and red deer. Yummy!


Today
Sitting in front of my computer blogging this post!

^^