Amor

Expectation

2011-12-04T16:54:00.002+08:00

Time flies.

I been working for 2 years now.
It's seem that I have not achieved anything.

Sometimes I ask myself...What do i need in life? What can I achieve? What do I expect myself to do in 5, 10, 15 years time?

Am in doubt. I know what i what? Is what i want what i need? Is what i want too high of an expectation. I mean am already 26 years old. In a month's time i'll be 27! the big 30 is just 3 years away!

The norm of society, peer-pressure, self-pride. Should what i what i wanna do next be effected by these factors?

I often think am the odd 1 out of norm..

Guess this normal, since am always the weird 1.

depressed

2011-07-14T22:41:00.002+08:00

OK, i been depressed for more than 2 days now..

been hypnotising myself to think everything is fine, i'll be alright.

am normal when am with ppl...well sort of..

but when am alone...my mind wanders, thinking of past mistakes, regrets, etc etc

how can this happened to me?

am always a no regret person.

what is wrong with me?

i can't calm down..

just stupid heavy heart feeling and pressure in my stomach..

am i going crazy?

or is it just stress?

what's my purpose in life? this question been popping in my head constantly.

i need a light.

no aim in life

2011-07-10T22:32:00.002+08:00

been really confused lately...

No idea what am doing, whether what am doing has it purpose in life.

Been working, come home, sleep, wake up and go to work.

Pay is not so good, just enough to survive.

and been doing this routine over 1.5years now.

Is like after coming back from UK, everything is not what i want to do

and am just doing it for the sake of living.

Life shouldn't be this way.

After 2 years

2009-04-26T23:14:00.008+08:00

I finally got a chance to go back to Malaysia in January. I didn't get the chance to go home for nearly 2 years because i stupidly failed my design last year.. So had to stay in UK during summer last year to resubmit my work! urgh!

Though I only got to go home for 10 days, it was well worth it! Plus I have to do my IC before my 24th birthday. Almost everyone asked, why go back for 10 days and when I say I have to do my IC... The reply I got was 'huh?' or 'u didn't do it when you were 18?'

Then i have will have to explained about the time I got robbed when I was 17 and have to redo my IC 2 weeks before my 18th birthday and that didn't counted as my adult IC. So the IC people asked me to do before I'm 24, hence 10 days before my 24th birthday I had to fly back and do my IC..... Imagine I have to explain this long winded explanation each time someone asked me why I only went back for 10 days! LOL!!

Anyway, I missed CNY by 3 days!! Urgh! Because classes started on the first day of CNY..So as I was helping my mum out to prepare for CNY, I can't help but to feel sad for myself, missing CNY for the fourth time..

I finally got to meet my nephew for the first time!! He's super duper cute!

Lil Jun with daddy~He exactly like his daddy when we compared with his daddy's baby picture!

Another pic of Jun with my sister teasing by pretend to bite him! He just giggling and try to catch her with his lil hand..

I miss him very much! Can't wait to see him again!

Staying awake

2009-04-24T13:16:00.003+08:00

Final crit at 9am! I'm so nervous right now! Done my work but don't dare to go to sleep. I'm afraid i might not get up in time.
Just finish taking a nice hot shower, wide awake now with nothing to do.

So I decided to blog a bit! Since i haven't blog for over 3 months now! =P I know I know, I've been busy to the extent of forgetting I actually have a blog. hahaha! That was archi'torture' do to you!

I can't wait for all these to be over and done with! 7 years of studies is more than enough to last me a lifetime! But I can't help to wonder what I'm going to next! Getting a job now is near impossible with the credit crunch/recession whatever they called it.

Maybe I'll go traveling! I always wanted to go visit around the world! Must save so money first though! =P Anyone wanna go with me? Traveling alone is so lonely not to mention dangerous. Let me know ya if anyone is still reading my blog!(i doubt it though since my blogging is practically non existent!)

Note to self: Must blog more often!

New place

2009-01-05T04:06:00.005+08:00

I moved to a new place! Is right in the city centre now! We had a Christmas party last week!So much fun! The living room is much bigger and there's enough seats for everyone. Beats sitting on the floor at my old place! =P

Lotsa of food as usual! Plus Sharif,my new housemate is also a good cook!

Sushi by me since is obviously my specialty! =P

Thanks for coming people!!

Steamboat

2008-08-21T10:59:00.003+08:00

I promised LinZhi ages ago to have a steamboat my place since she never been to my place. Finally had one last Sat, hoho~~

Shauqi, Abad & Anna

Anna, Linzhi & Joni are too hungry!

This is about quarter of the food we had, the rest all in the pot already before i could take picture. =P

Thanks for coming everyone! ^^

Sushi

2008-08-14T23:58:00.002+08:00

I make sushi again, really feel like a housewife now. =P

Smoked salmon, a bargain 2 for 5pounds.

All roled up and ready to be cut!

The job finished!

hehe!! Looks pro doesn't it? =P

Free again~!!

2008-08-12T19:49:00.007+08:00

I know I said that I'll blog constantly again... But i was really busy... Doing my resubmission. Can't believe I failed 1 subject.. T_T Can't graduate with everyone else last month. Just resubmitted my work last week. Hopefully I'll pass this time, if not i can't start my Master this September...

13th June
Well, since i submitted my work, I'm free to blog again! Yippee!! Road trip!With Emily, Ah Boon and my baby~~

Us at Stirling Castle~

Stirling Castle

William Wallace Monument! The climb is exhausting!

Just practising my phototaking skills, my baby and Ah Boon..

It was raining when we reach stonehaven ( yes i went there again)

And 10 mins later..

Beautiful isn't it?

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30th June
Mein mein's graduation! Congrats cousin! Muaks!!

With my uncle and auntie outside mein's graduation Hall~

Cheers! Is not just orange juice, got champagne in it!

With Huei in the Hall, we were very bored! LOL!!

1st July
I went to Wendy's place to stay and the next day Mein brought the family over for a trip~ Since it's been ages I last seen my family, so I went along. =P

At Carlton Hill

Me and Huei

Mein and me

Edinburgh Castle

This week and last week..

2008-06-07T05:15:00.015+08:00

Super long post, cause i been lazy and haven't been updating.

31st of May
All girls picnic! yippee, well sort of. The forecast was for sunny day but it turn out to be cloudy and windy. =(
We still had fun, watching guys playing cricket!

Me and Anna, posing to Judy's camera and Linzhi took this. Very nice hor!

Look at the amount of food we had!!

Judy, why the sour face???

Najla!! Wake up! LOL~

Wendy, Martin and Pak Khuen came to Aberdeen, Pak Khuen got a job in Edinburgh. So need to pack everything down. Congrats!!! Went clubbing at Priory that night with Joni, Wendy and Martin!
Cam whoring half the time!

Martin & Wendy~

I was requested to do a sexy pose. Not very sexy hor?

The 3 hot chichas~!!

Bumped into Masaki, he joined us after his friend left him alone for a chick. Lol~~ Poor Masaki. Smile!! Don't be sad~~

Joni lost her jacket, some idiot threw our jackets around. Luckily i found mine. =P
Don't be sad, Joni. I'll get you a new one. ^^

Joni was a little drunk by that time and she wanted to go to Espionage. Martin was tired since he got up very early and drove from Edinburgh. So Wendy and Martin went home first. Along with my house keys. =P

At Espionage.

Cute pose this time, better than the sexy pose hor? =P

Another take~

At Espionage, we were joined by the guys, Hassan, Savio, Viknesh, Sam and Jaya.

Joni bumped into her workmates as well.

After Espionage, Hez came and pick me, Joni and Masaki up to Khai's place. No pictures, i haven't got them from Najla. ^^ Will update that later.

1st of June
Najla's kitchen was burnt! Sharif left the shove on and completely forgotten about it! So they can't cook at home, came to my place to cook instead! Goody, i wasn't feeling well that day is a good thing got someone cook for me!! Yippee~~

See how much Najla cooked!!!

A bucket of spaghettis!!!

Yummy~!! It's very good~!!

Thanks for cooking ,Najla!

Sharif, what u doing in my kitchen?? 'not spicy enough la, i adding chili sauces'

2nd of June
Steamboat at my place!! Paiseh, no pics~ We were very hungry so couldn't be bother with pics! Thanks for coming, Syaz, Joni, Hez, Najla and Sharif!

3rd of June
Since there were so much leftovers from the previous day, Najla, Hez and Sharif came over for dinner. ^^ This time Chef Jessica is cooking! ^^

4th of June
Stayed at home and did nothing! LOL~~

5th of June
Got an early morning wake up call from Hez. Najla's going back to Msia today. So we are sending her off. Bye dear, eat my portion of food in Msia ya! ^^ Missing you already!

Reach home, got a text from Ciaran about 5710 meeting at 3pm. Shit... i nearly forgot about it. Went back to town by bus, had the meeting and went shopping! LOL~~

Wanted to get a short, since summer is here. Got this from Topshop.

Saw this waist belt at Quiz, couldn't resist it. Love it at first sight.

Went to Primark to get these for Wendy, since there's no Primark in Edinburgh.

I ended up buying these for myself! =P

Went out for dinner with Melina,Han Jian and Bryan at a small Hungarian restaurant. Very romantic hor?

That's the empty plate of our starters. We were hungry. =P

Our side dish, pickled salad.

Melina's main course. Forgot what's it called. But is spiced beef with Hungarian pasta. Bryan had the same thing.

Han Jian's. Completely forgot what's it or called. =P

Mine! Roast Game. Wild boar and red deer. Yummy!

Today
Sitting in front of my computer blogging this post!

^^

Tiger Tiger

2008-05-30T07:02:00.005+08:00

My first night out after completing my university work!!

Yippee!! But the club was way too packed!! It took half an hour to get a drink!!! I don't even feel tipsy!!!!

See!! so many ppl!!

Savio's face got cut.. :P

Never mind, let's take another!

Me and Najla!! 2 hot babes!

I finally tried out the fake lashes i got from Amazon. My eyes look bigger!! hehe!!

Cam whoring time!!!

Again!!

One more time!! =P

And lastly, everyone's nose hole! hahaha~~

I'm being lazy again...

2008-05-29T01:46:00.010+08:00

Not really lazy, just busy. =P

After submitting my work on Thursday morning last week, I went to the bus station to pick up my cousin who's visiting from Glasgow. We went home to drop her bags and have lunch. Went window shopping and camwhoring around the town. We came home by 6pm cause the ASDA home delivery was supposed to come.

BUT!!! THEY DIDN'T!!! SO PISSED!! THEY STILL HAVEN'T COME TILL TODAY EVEN THOUGH I CALLED THEM TWICE!!

We ended up making sushi for dinner cause i don't have anything else in my fridge.

Dragged myself outta bed on Friday morning coz we gonna take the train down to Stonehaven. And it's so gloomy! Ish..We still cam whore though! =P

On Saturday, we went to Old Aberdeen but my cousin have no luck as the church was under renovation. At least the weather was good!

Even had time to go to the beach~ ^^

I sent her off at the bus station and went home. Haih... My house now is so quiet with my cousin's noise. =(

Wendy called me that night and asked me to meet her in St. Andrews. Since I've got nth to do, I went even though I've been there twice. ^^

I didn't know Martin was behind me in this pic!!

The boys bullied me! wuwuwu!! =((((

Don't be bluff by the sunny day, it's super duper cool wind!!

On the way home on the train.

And i been lazying at home cause of my ankle. I did went out on Monday night. That will be tomorrow's post. ^^

20 hours of sleep

2008-05-18T02:25:00.002+08:00

I'm so tired....Have been rushing my work to get it ready to pin up by yesterday. Didn't get any sleep for more than 48 hours... I finally got some sleep when i got home yesterday. And i slept for 20 hours! Ha ha~~

Now i sleep too much, my whole body feels stiff. Too lazy to do my model. LOL!! Shall chill for a while before starting my work work again! Anyone interested to help me out??

Spring is here!!

2008-05-09T08:16:00.006+08:00

Finally spring is here!! After 5 months of cold weather,yes 5 months!!! Aberdeen is so far north that summer is so short and winter seems like forever!!!

Just a month ago it was like this!!

Two weeks ago the flowers started to bloom!! But it was like 7-10 degrees...See i'm still wearing my winter jacket!!

And today, I finally got to go out with a t-shirt and skirt!! 17 degree!! Sun, i miss you so much!!!! (it's still a little cold though). Here's some cherry blossoms opposite my flat! ^^

Oh yea, my lilies bloomed as well~~ Hehehe so happy~~

So happy~~ I love spring!! I wanna go sun tanned!!!

A day in at Duthie Park.

2008-05-08T08:42:00.000+08:00

Few weeks ago, one of the Saturdays... The news forecast reported that day will be the hottest day in UK marking the start of spring. SO me and my friends decided to go to the park and get some sun!

We got bluffed... It was quite sunny but no one mentioned about super strong wind!! I was freezing cause i only wore a t-shirt with a half tank jacket!!

So the guys suggested to do some jumping to warm up!! So i jumped!

And everyone jumped!

We were loitering around and found big round ornaments, so being cam whores this is what we did!

Hez feel left out..He wanted to be in the picture too~~ :P

One more one more!! Hehe~~

Then there's square ornaments~!! =P

And we found some flowers~ Nice right~~

And of coz i cam whores!! Muahaha~

There's a playground near the carpark, and the guys found a big tyre swing. They make me spin them...LOL...the swing barely moved...=P You guys too heavy lar!!!!

My turn my turn!!! Spin me spin me!!!

hey! No one is at the swing now!!! Our turn!! Yippee!! Like small kids only!! Haha~~

Eh...check first, later we too heavy kan the swing will break!!

No prob? OK!! here we go!!

The slide next!!!Cam whore first!!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!

Eh...The sun set d...Very nice hor~~ Time pass by so fast when we are having fun.

Then Hez's stomach growls...hehe~~ Hungry la...'Let's go Asda buy some food' said Najla. We ended up buying some alcohol as well..Got pretty drunk that night from the tequila shots. Then we started singing on Najla's PS2 Singstars!! Apparent i sang with 2 mikes which i don't recall at all the next day. =P

Miracle cure?

2008-05-07T23:37:00.003+08:00

Does anyone have a miracle cure for my weird sickness?

Yes! I'm sick again, I'm always sick before a big exams or presentation or submission. Am i cursed or what? The time that i need myself most to be clear headed and healthy, I always turn out to be sick...like really really sick...Luckily I'm not having any fever just yet but my flu and cough are enough to cause me headache and no good sleep.

My bf say it's my hormone. I'm nervous and stress that's why my body reacted and it mess up my immune systems so i ended sick everything before something important. Can someone tell me if that's right? If it's true that i'm so shit. I can't be sick! This is the most important period of my entire life! If I don't pass this i can't do my master, get Part 1 and my mum will kill me!!!

Someone got a cure for me?

so hard~

2008-05-07T04:09:00.003+08:00

I'm staring blankly at my work for past half an hour. I'm so bloody stuck. Oh well, so I was thinking of updating my blog. Staring at the create a new post page for 15 mins.

Shit i really can't think of anything to blog about. So i went blog surfing... And now i'm back here. Staring into the white blank page. Ish... I still have nothing to blog about. I'm pathetic.

Forget it, i'm just going to make dinner and watch YouTube. =P

help~~!!

2008-05-02T11:21:00.005+08:00

I'm so so nervous! My final presentation is less that 3 weeks and i haven't got much done! My brain is slow right now, so i thought i'll just blog a bit before going to bed.

Hmmm...what should i blog about??? Oh yea! Malaysian Cultural Night! We had a play & dinner event on 29th Of March for MSA (Malaysian Student Association). I was the assistant project director cum dancer cum extra actress! ^^ That's what i call multi tasking! hehe!

The play that we did was Puteri Gunung Ledang so in english we named it (actually i named it) The Legend of Princess Mount Ledang. We wrote the script ourselves!! Hehehe~ So pround of it! And we got the mayor of Aberdeen to come! Lord Provost is so nice and he was impressed by our performance!! He even recommended us to do Aberdeen International Youth Festival!!! AIYF will be in August but i don't think i'll be around to do it. I wanna go back home!! :(

Here's some pics~!

You see more pics here!

I'm back~!

2008-04-30T08:26:00.005+08:00

I haven't been blogging for ages! Wendy been bugging me to blog. A lot has been happening, I barely know i got through it. I moved to a new place, without Internet until last when the guy finally came and fixed up my Internet line.

So here I am, thinking of what to blog about. I kinda lost my touch to blog, being away for so long. Feeling down currently because i have less than 3 weeks left for my final presentation, not mentioning i'm so damn nervous~!

My boyfriend is now back home in Msia for month, missing him so much~ I'm so used to having him in my everyday life now it feels empty without him. It's also not helping with Wendy is in Edinburgh working.

I'm trying my best to pick up the pieces one by one, so i have something to blog about. And the first piece of my life since my long absent from blogging will be about the RGU Scarlet & Gold Awards that i attended last Friday. ^^

So what is RGU Scarlet & Gold Awards all about? It's an annual award ceremony where student that have contributed to society get recognition. So it's like Grammys where people have to dress fancy in dresses or suits, have dinner and get awards.Najla and I were nominated, so I have to go because i don't want to miss the chance just incase i win. So i end up dressing myself without a date because my boyfriend is back in Msia. Najla is also without a date, so both of us make a pact and got ourselves a date because there's dancing after the ceremony! ^^

Me and Najla at the bar before the awards~

Poor Byran was dragged by me to be my date to a boring event, thank god the food was ok. =P

George and Andrew are the best people who have helped MSA out for our events~!

My farewell party~04.08.07

2007-09-19T23:44:00.000+08:00

Had my farewell party at Halo Cafe. Two of my friends were singing that day,so since they can't come to me I decided to have at somewhere they could come. Hehe~~ Plus I'll get discount.

Me and Khen!

Shannon!

Evonne and Ken trying to act cute~

Jo!

Cath and Hui Ching~

Kelly!

Chee Mun!

Crystal and her bf~

Alan trying to kill me if i don't bring back leng lui for him~=P

Jian~

Yen Wen!

Kenji! Taking a break from singing and take picture with me! hehe~

Jing Ming~ Thank you for singing my fav song! =)

Who got the biggest mouth contest!! Ken won of coz...hehehe~

Thanks everyone for coming and the gifts too! I'll miss u guys so much~!!

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Private farewell at ZEN with Cath! I miss u so much babe!! We decided to wear hats together. Cute? hehehe~

Penang!!(24-26.07.07)

2007-09-19T23:18:00.000+08:00

i know this trip was ages ago. But i got lazy and busy...hehe...

When u think of Penang, what's the first thing that comes into your mind?

FOOD!! FOOD!! FOOD!! FOOD!! FOOD!!

The first thing me and Jo got off the bus, we ask Chong to bring us somewhere nice to eat! HEHE!!Especially asam laksa. YUM YUM~ Unfortunately the shop was close. So we end up with rojak! Still good.I have wan tan mee,coz don't really fancy rojak.

The rest of the remaining days, need i say more? basically we eat and eat and eat!!
Oh yea... no food pics! Mainly because once the foods were on the table its gone within second. Yea, penang's food are just too good! =P I think i put on some weight too!!

Chong,Sam, me and Jo at pub in Penang~

Chong posing with my handbag! My poor handbag..wuwu..

Me and Sam. I look so pale next to him. Wait a minute. I am pale! Haha~ =P

Transformer was already out for 2 weeks but i still haven't watch. End up watching it in Penang! Haha!! Poor Chong, Sam and Jo. I forced them to watch again with me. I'm so mean, right?

Somehow being in Penang for 3 days, we didn't manage to get our hands on some asam laksa. Oh well... next time then. Hehe!!

new hair! Make over!

2007-08-09T18:46:00.000+08:00

2 days ago i was so piss off.. Really wanted to write a super long angry enrty about the person who's really bitchy & slutty.. However, i just change my mind today. I'm not gonna sinked as low as she. Why should i bother? No matter what happened, i'm still the winner. So i'm not gonna be bother with this kind of ppl...

____________________________________________________________

Right... I did my hair! Why.. Coz my aunty came over for dinner last week at my house and u know what she say! My hair is boring! My 40+++ years old auntie said my hair is boring!!! ARGHHH!! I can't believe it!!
Ok.. fine.. i seldom change my hair style, mainly coz my hair style suits me.. Not that i'm boring or anything!!!

So went to my auntie's saloon (now u know why she said my hair is boring,she's a hair stylist). She suggested me to highlight my hair bright RED!! Told her big NO! Jo's highlighting her hair RED, if i do as well we'll look like twins!!! Then u know what colour she suggest next? PINK! PINK!!! BRIGHT PINK!! yea, she's my auntie not some punk girls... Lucky my mum came to the rescue! And finally we settle with light brown..

I look like a lion! with huge mane!! =P That's my mum in the background, her hair is BLOND! I know I know...everyone said my mum is cooler than i am...

After highlighting, my mum decided my hair is too thick and ask my auntie to cut it. I gave up by then. Having a mum and auntie who are professional hairstylist, they can debate and decide what they wanna do with MY HAIR. I'm like a barbie doll! And my auntie change my hair parting as well.. Apparently my hair is flat, no volume.. But i like my hair flat and neat...:( oh well...not going to argue with her...

Somehow after all those debates, i quite like the end result! Not bad right? Hehe~~

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My mum got me a makeup session by Sheisedo and the makeup artist is japanese. Was rather funny how this whole makeup session came about.. Jo had her's a few days before mine and we didn't plan it.. Our mums did.. haha! no together though...
I'm too lazy to scan the studio photo so u guys just have to do with home taken pic! =P

new house....

2007-08-06T22:00:00.000+08:00

Slept at 3 am yesterday, my mum drag me out of my bed at 9 am..

Blur blur followed her to view our new house... haha...

Here's the pics...

Front view of the house,mum's on the left and stepdad on the right...haha~

The fountain in front..

Stepdad's car...nice leh!

Another fountain at carpark bay...

Hallway..

Living room..

TV/Audio room..

Another fountain opposite the audio room..

Dining hall..

And the kitchen..

Hehe... no pics of up stairs because i got lazy to climb the stairs again... Only wanted to take photos when i finish viewing the house and wanted to leave... My mum was getting a little impatient... haha~~

Freedom of speech!

2007-07-20T18:41:00.000+08:00

blek!

2007-07-18T12:48:00.000+08:00

Harry Potter and the order of the Phoenix movie is terribly boring...And the story line is totally different.. I was so lost watching the movie.. Haih.. So sad.. Can't express how disappointed i am... Hopefully the book coming out this weekend would be better...finger cross! I hope harry don't have to die...The forum is going crazy with all types of story! no more speculation.. i shall refused all of it and wait for the book!! hehe~

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Found this other day~ cute isn't it??
hehe~!

Get Your Sexy Name

can a song make u cry??

2007-07-12T12:13:00.000+08:00

Watch this... it will..

She's fantastic, isn't she?? I cried... The way she sang like she meant every single words...WOW!!!

have u ever....

2007-06-24T20:07:00.000+08:00

Have u ever dance till u dropped?

I had..plenty of times during my cheerleading years. Yesterday i really dance till i dropped literally. I had not have so much fun for ages. Yesterday was like the first time i club without worries and just have pure fun. Can never do that in KL because i always have to watch out for others and drive after.

Yesterday was different, it was Cath's graduation after party. And i practically only know 2 person. Cath and Ai Lee. Others were their course mates. They really know how to have fun~!! I practically dance the whole time at the club! The only time i not dancing was after my legs go weak and i just dropped on the floor. Luckily someone caught me and put me on a stool. LOL!! and i was back on the podium within 5 mins.

The club was fantastic. All hits songs one after another and u just wanna keeps dancing!! It's been a long time since i last truly enjoyed dancing. Dancing was my passion, and after yesterday, i felt it still is. Somehow i felt somewhat different, physically my legs muscles are aching, mentally i feel alive. Strange right?

Somehow i wish those good old dancing days can come back....

is this me?

2007-06-16T20:01:00.000+08:00

Aquarius : Origin - Representation
Aquarius zodiacal signs explained

Boy, is this one confusing. You'd think a sign with the word aqua in it would be a water sign. Nope. Or that its planetary ruler is, say, Neptune. Wrong again. Aquarius is an air sign, yet water plays a significant part in it. It's even symbolized by a young boy pouring water on the earth. Even that part is odd, considering that the later signs are thought to represent the later stages in life, with such virtues as wisdom, peacefulness, and humanity. So why a young boy?

Well, in Greek mythology this young boy was Ganymede, a mortal so handsome he was chosen by the gods to be their cup-bearer, and so ascended to the heavens. He represents the sheer physical beauty of Aquarians-Librans are attractive, but Aquarians are stunning.

As for the water confusion, the most logical explanation is that during this mid-winter time of year, the northern hemisphere actually thaws from its snows. The sign's symbol, which shows two squiggly parallel lines, serves two purposes: its waves indicate the importance of water to the sign, but also wisdom. They were originally drawn as two serpents, one good and one evil; natives of this sign are therefore believed to know the difference well.

Aquarius' planetary ruler is actually a combination of Saturn and Uranus. The two together form a curious duality: Saturn's influence can be seen in an Aquarian's cool level-headedness, while Uranus' pull is in the need to be unique, modern, and unconventional.

hmmm...i'm stunning! haha~, don't think i'm cool level-headed more likely is hot headed!! =P

Aquarius 2007 Horoscope
Aquarius 2007 - Astrology Forecast

This year is favourable for Aquarians as they could reorganise their love life, structure their emotional and professional partnerships on stronger, more authentic grounds. 2006 has shown them what was wrong, but confused them without offering clear solutions. This year you find solutions, mediations and compensations, but only after many analysis processes for which a series of measures must be taken. These measures must be mostly based on arguments rather than on feelings.

Concerning your job, you will be appreciated for all your hard work and commitment. However, your earnings will continue to be stable, there will be no sign of growth whatsoever. Also, changes are to be avoided as you tend to take impulsive decisions that may not be as beneficial as you expect, thus creating some problems at your workplace.

I had to admit 2006 isn't the best year of my love life. This year (hopefully) is much better compare to last year. And as for work, the forecast is right on target! There's no way i'll get a pay raise fr ArchiCentre.

Aquarius: Love and Relationships
Aquarius zodiacal signs explained

As mentioned earlier, your greatest obstacle is your fear of rejection-you'd rather write down your feelings than express them face to face. Remember, though, Cyra.no de Bergerac was a tragedy, and unless you can overcome this fear, so too will your love life be sad. Even when you do succeed in finding the right mate, you must verbalize your feelings more often. You feel your love, but you express it in other ways, such as buying gifts. Without those key words, however, your efforts are lost.

The good news is that finding your mate is easier when you know who to look for, and in your case that would be Gemini or Libra. The former loves variety and unpredictability as much as you do, and can understand your conflicting character. The latter will be just as physically attracted to you as you are to him or her, since you're both blessed with great beauty and a love of it, and this will be harmonious as long as the Libran accepts your irregular need to be alone. Secondarily, you also get along well with Leo (there is mutual respect here) and Sagittarius (you'll bond by discussing the finer points of life and the world's problems, long into the night, time after time).

It's best to avoid partnerships with Taurus (who cannot tolerate your unpredictability), Cancer (too homebound and stable for your complex fancies), and Virgo (you cannot tolerate their need for order).

Hmmm...my bf would be happy with first part of this phrase 'The latter will be just as physically attracted to you as you are to him or her, since you're both blessed with great beauty and a love of it, and this will be harmonious as long as the Libran accepts your irregular need to be alone.' but i'm sure he's ok with the second part..hahaha~

Aquarius: Financial Profile - Occupations
Aquarius zodiacal signs explained

You are blessed with a logical, scientific mind, and this alone suits you to innumerable careers in the high-tech industries. If every computer company declared that each employee could get their birthday off, they would literally lose half their staff in February. Since these jobs are generally secure and pay well, and since you love this kind of logic-based work, you'll enjoy success on all levels here.

Your other great talent is for social work. A great many activists, teachers, and politicians are Aquarians, and although these positions may not pay as well as the technical jobs, to an idealist like you they are perhaps the most satisfying pursuit you could choose in life. You want to make a difference in the world, not get rich. In fact, no one irks you more than the person who simply chooses a career for the money.

What you're not great at is anything that is vague or negotiable, such as sales or dealmaking. You need the solidity of machines and logic, or the nobility of truth and mankind's welfare, to satisfy you.

As mentioned earlier, many of the world's great writers are Aquarians, because they understood that they could show their true feelings on paper much more easily than in person. This list includes Charles Dickens (also a great social humanitarian), Somerset Maugham, Francis Bacon, Charles Darwin, Lewis Carroll, Sinclair Lewis, James Joyce, Tennessee Ernie Ford, science fiction master Jules Verne, and the poets Robert Burns and Lord Byron.

Am i in the wrong line then??

Aquarius: Positive Qualities
Aquarius zodiacal signs explained

You are the world's humanitiarians. You love people passionately, in large numbers. For this reason, you're always involved in areas where you can make a difference for the betterment of humankind. Local politics, especially, is where you feel you can make the most difference, and where you feel the problems are most real.

When you're not acting for social change, you're often discussing it. As an air sign, you are a person of great ideas, an idealist and a bit of a dreamer, and you love to engage people in your vision of an ideal society. As a thinker, you're quite logical, so your arguments are always compelling and believable. Combined with your humanitarian zeal, this makes you a popular choice for political or social leadership.

And once you decide what's right, you stick to it. You hate compromise. Unlike Sagittarians, however, whose pride will not allow them to give in to a more logical argument, you will admit you're wrong if someone else's argument is stronger. But you'll immediately turn it around and adopt it as part of your own agenda.

As a sign of the people, you refuse to be placed on a higher level than your friends, even though you may deserve it. You distrust and dislike hierarchies-you're a true democrat-so inequities of class and race fuel your ardor all the more.

Despite your social passions, you're actually very solitary and independent more than people realize. (Another aspect of the two serpents in your sign, which represent good and evil, is a coexistence of other opposities: sociability and aloofness, selflessness and independence, politeness and rudeness. Some astrologers even believe the sign itself is comprised of complete opposites: those people who are the best in the world, and those who are the worst.) In any case, you've learned several tricks to maintain your independence when you need to: you let the answering machine pick up the phone at home, or you're conveniently absent or late for appointments. Essentially, you make a point to interact with people when you choose to, not vice-versa. This is not a negative trait, if s just you being true to yourself first and foremost.

I'm pretty sure most of above is kinda right. What do u guys think eh??

Aquarius: Trouble Areas
Aquarius zodiacal signs explained

The later zodiac signs are considered emotionally unstable, progressively more so in the sequence. You are known for being very touchy, especially when criticized. You have a thin skin- you're extremely sensitive to comments from people, and easily hurt.

You're also known for your fear of rejection. Quite often, you find it easier to explain yourself-or even ask for a date-on paper, where you can pour out your soul freely, and not be present for the potentially negative blow. This trait alone has led many Aquarians to blossom into passionate writers and poets. Much like the often misunderstood Virgo, your true self shines through on paper, revealing a sensitive, passionate soul that surprises those who only know your cool, independent public persona.

All of this emotional sensitivity, though, has its downside. If you can't accept criticism, you can't improve flaws in your character. Similarly, if you can't face rejection, you're not likely to survive and prosper in the real world.

Some of the criticism you've heard is probably oriented toward your curt, sometimes rude social manners. This is not because you mean to be offensive, it's just that you find formalities a bit hypocritical and elitist. You're a person of the people, after all, and you know your own mind, and you speak what's on it. Those little things don't feel right to you, so you ignore them. Of course, the problem is, you (and perhaps Sagittarius) are the only one who does, and this directness is not appreciated by most. No doubt you've experienced a few resulting social episodes by now.

yes...i'm very touchy and also rejection..but who doesn't even a tiny bit?? okok fine.. i'm extremely touchy

Aquarius: Physical Qualities and Activities
Aquarius zodiacal signs explained

Aquarians are far and away the most physically attractive sign in the zodiac, especially around the eyes, because the sign rules that area (as well as the lower legs). Just as the boy in the hieroglyph is beautiful because of a few soft feminine features, so too is each Aquarian blessed with androgynous good looks: men will have a feminine feature or two, women a masculine few. Most Aquarians have angular faces, not round, and slight builds. Each step is rather light, and the independent streak shows in how an Aquarian manages to avoid bumping into people.

The list of beautiful female Aquarians, then, is quite long: Jeanne Moreau, Tallulah Bankhead, Mia Farrow, Kim Novak, Vanessa Redgrave, Princess Caroline, Geena Davis, Nastassia Kinski, Katherine Ross, Suzanne Pleshette, Princess Stephanie, Christie Brinkley, Barbara Hershey, Lana Turner, Tina Louise, Jane Seymour, Cybil Shepherd, and Vanna White.

Handsome male Aquarians include Clark Gable, James Dean, Charles Lindbergh, Placido Domingo, Rutger Hauer, Humphrey Bogart, Neil Diamond, Paul Newman, Wayne Gretsky, Mikhail Baryshnikov, Tom Selleck, John Forsythe, Tom Brokaw, Nick Nolte, Robert Wagner, Burt Reynolds, Matt Dillon, and John Travolta.

As an Aquarian, you're not much into sports, although you do enjoy being part of a team. This manifests itself in an interest in being on social committees or in charity groups. You're also interested in scientific pursuits, so you're happy to spend your time building a ham radio, or going to an aeronautics museum, or reading science fiction.

I'm suppose to be hot then eh? how come i don't think i am??

Aquarius: Preferences
Aquarius zodiacal signs explained

You're the sign that likes the odd colors, such as orange or metallic blue or anything provocative or a little unusual. You have the avant-garde instinct—it's the influence of Uranus—so you don't mind if your clothes are considered weird, though most of the time you assert your style and independence subtly, with just an accent here or there to throw people off, or an ordinary suit of an odd color.

Your home is likely to feature modern designs— those metallic glass tables, perhaps, or lots of black-faced compact technology. You prefer the overall space to feel more horizontal than vertical (this fits your hatred of social hierarchies).

As an air sign, like Gemini and Libra, you're not much interested in food. You could easily spend an entire meal talking, then find that you haven't eaten a bite when everyone else is done. But as with your choice of colors, you'll go for the unusual morsel, that strange orangeish vegetable or gourd, say, before anyone else does. Your idea of fun is to get a group of people together and try a new exotic restaurant—a Moroccan feast or an Indonesian barbecue, for instance. This combines your love of people with the unusual.

First and second paragraph is dead on...I like odd colours! And i'm planning to buy a pc that is sleek pure white or black or other striking colours. Haha~~ but the second part is totally off!! i love food!! all kinds of foods!!!

(Isabella: Astrology & Palmistry)
http://www.astrology-love-horoscope.com/2007-horoscope/

Acupuncture torture!

2007-06-16T19:04:00.000+08:00

WARNING!!!!
Before reading this post make sure your tummy is empty because the pictures I'm about to post may be gross to some...

Last year January,i had a car accident. Remember my arm in sling when I first traveled to UK to further my studies?
Well my arm didn't fully healed. Occasionally when it rains, my shoulder and collar bone aches. Like 'fung sap'. I can't sleep on my left, can't carry anything heavy. So i went for acupuncture last week.

I have never done acupuncture before so, the first time i step into the shop i had quite a shock. The smell of Chinese medicine herbs makes me dizzy. The scary part was i saw a rat in a big jar on the shelf. Then snake, then some odd looking golf ball shape eggs. It felt like a voodoo shop more than a Chinese medical shop.

Thank god the doctor wasn't scary,he was grandpa looking and was quite funny! After checking my arm and shoulder, he transfer me to another doctor and i was quite relieved to see the modern part of Chinese medical. I saw a box of unused needles and bottle of used needle. Phew..no need to worry about AIDS and HIV those kinda things.They threw away the needle after use and is not like in TV where they reused the needle and only sterilize it by burning.

The doctor did a suction cup thingy to remove 'wind' in my shoulder. After he ask me to wait for a while. He need to sterilize his hands.

That's me, worried before the doctor pokes me with needles.

That's how my shoulder looks like after the doctor done.

It didn't hurt that much..

Is the 20 mins wait with the needles all over u and i can't move much!!!

After acupuncture, the doctor massage and pull my arms in odd ways. Then he did this neck twisting thingy like how u watch in TV where they twist ppl necks to kill them. My neck just make cracking sound!!! Then he slap 2 pieces of medicine patches on me and ask me to come back the next day.
Apparently i had blood clogs and i had to go back for another 4 treatment. Oh..well...

That's how my shoulder look like after i remove the medicine patch with the suction cup marks.

Last treatment! Finally~

My shoulder looks like pin cushion...

Reminds me of doctor Frankenstein!

And oddly i had a different needle this time and this needles hurts more than all the others put together!!! i can't even move my finger!! Ouch!!!

Every single time after the treatment, i can't move my arm much. It felt so dejavu because is the same helpless feeling i got when my arm was in sling. Past week was a torture. And even though i had my 5 treatments, i have to go back and check up in 2 weeks time. I'm dreading it...

p.s: this is the reason i haven't been blogging... i can't type with one hand!

funny...

2007-06-03T16:34:00.000+08:00

i haven't been online for ages...too busy working and socialising... =P

I was at loft yesterday, didn't really wanted to go out this weekend because i'm not feeling too well,but it was a friend "j" who just lauched his CD and came back from his concert who asked. So don't have much of choice coz if i don't hang out with him yesterday, he probably wouldn't be free for ages.

So me and Cath drove down to KL, got stuck in the jam for an hour. She was getting prissy and wanted to go home. Luckily i remembered a shortcut, and we reach loft just before she goes nuts!! ahaha~~

I been to loft before but yesterday was really different, damn a lot of lengchai!! is like most of the good looking guys decided to club at loft yesterday. Cath and i probably lost count of how many cute guys were there.

Here comes the funny part,
There's a really cute guy keep trying to catch eye with me. I just stare back back and look away. After a while, i was just sitting and chatting with Cath and "j" that guy walk over. i look and him and turn my attention back to Cath and "j". All the sudden that cute guy call out 'JESSICA'. I turn and look at him then he said 'i thought it was u and i'm right!' I was like 'HUH???,do i know u?? u look familiar but i just can't remember who u are'. His friends 'wuuuuu' and he just laugh and said 'i know u and remember your name. How can u forget mine?' i ask for clues but he wouldn't give any. There's no way i know a cute guy and forget his name well at least i should remember how i know him!!!! i keep bugging for his name BUT!!!!

he STILL refuses to tell me his name and how he know me. Instead he introduce his brother, which is also another funny story, his brother to me his name, i went 'huh?' then he said 'teddy bears, teddy!' i was like OOOOOoooooooooooo....

Till now i still haven't figure out what's the cute guy's name and how he know me!!!! I just know he looks familiar but i can't remember where have i seen him!!! Is been bugging me for the whole damn day!!!!!

Cath and 'j' keep laughing at me and ask did i get any hp number. Ish.. how can i ask for a guy who know my name yet i don't remember his for his hp no.? That would just be so damn weird. And when Cath say his brother(teddy bear) look like Jap rock stars, i ask her to get his number instead! =P

Argh!!! i still can't remember what that cute guy's name!!!!!

A present

2007-05-22T20:57:00.000+08:00

Many people will walk in and out of your life.
But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
To handle yourself, use your head;
To handle others, use your heart.

Friends

Anger is only one letter short of danger
If someone betrays you once, it is his fault;
If he betrays you twice, it is your fault.

Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.

He, who loses money, loses much;
He, who loses a friend, loses much more;
He, who loses faith, loses all.

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature,
But beautiful old people are works of art.

Learn from the mistakes of others
You can't live long enough to make them all
yourself.

Friends, you and me...
You brought another friend...
And then there were 3...
We started our group...
Our circle of friends...
And like that circle...
There is no beginning or end...

Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift.
That is why it is called the present.

sienzzzzz.....

2007-05-16T17:51:00.000+08:00

Have you ever feel that u wish that there is something more exciting about your life?? Something different, small even. I'm going through that phrase right now. I can't believe working for over a month now can totally bored myself out! everyday is so fixed and a total routine! I feel so fixed or maybe stiff suit better?

I'm just going in a circle... Round and round.. Wake up, go to work, go home, shower, eat. That's all.. Occasionally yam cha with my friends. But that's about it. Boring right? The only consolation prize i get is when i have field work. Getting out of the office, stretch my legs a little.

Speaking of field work... Something happened on Monday, i was out with Ken my colleague to buy some boards. When i tried to turn into the street next to Sunway Pyramid,the traffic was slow. The car in front of me let go its brake and i thought can move BUT!!!!!I bang into the car in front and luckily no damage was done. Ken say is not banging... is more like kissing! Muaks... Apparently my car love the car in front and kiss its butt!! Hahaha!!! The lady was nice and just wave at Ken's stupid joke. Phew...I thought i was gonna have a heart attack! My car didn't even have a single scratch from the "KISSING". Yet the impact was kinda strong... Thanking my lucky stars!!!

Then after getting the boards, we were laughing hysterically because the boards cannot fit into my car... if only my car was 2 inch wider! Hahaha... We end up cutting the boards into two...LOL

Very ironical day, yet it add some colour to my dull day.

During this time, it really make me appreciate my ever exciting days in UK. Especially with Joey, Wendy and my die hard buddies in UK. Opps not forgetting my dear bf.

I miss you guys so much. You are the colours of my life. No wonder my life is dull though there's occasional colours yet i'm greedy! I want more! Hahaha~!

i got SAMAN!!!

2007-05-08T05:26:00.000+08:00

I can't believe my luck today~!! I've been working at ss 15 for a month now... Everyday after parking my car i would pay for car park at the machine. Unfortunately today i didn't have enough coins. The time was 8.40am. So i went up to the office first to change some with my colleagues. By the time i had enough coins (needed 4 bucks of coins!!) and went to my car, i already got a ticket! Bloody hell!! The ticket was issued at 8.44am.

They usually give 5 mins of leniency, so i ran to the machine and the time on the bloody machine is 8.50am!!!!!! Argh!!! one min late! Damn piss off!!! Can't believe it!! of all the days, today i don't have enough coins and the MPSJ decided to come around to check early. They usually check my parking area at 9.30 am.

Just my luck...

So busy!

2007-05-04T19:50:00.000+08:00

No, no one kill or kidnap me.. Don't worry... Hahaha~!

I started working some three weeks ago and my schedule had been so hectic. On weekdays i'll go to work, come back, shower, dinner and straight to bed. And my weekends was spend catching up with my long lost friends. And i put on weight~!!!! haha! Got tummy already..hehe~

Whatever i see, i wanna eat! being away from msia for a year and i miss so many kind of food! giving u an idea how much i could stuff into my tummy these, i ate loh see fun at 4pm.Then william's corner at 7pm, i ate triple 'H' and nasi lemak! Crazy? well i think i freak my friends out! haha~

I got a phone interview later, so nervous! It's for a job in inverness. If everything goes well, i might be back in UK by the end of this month. The pay would be 10 times of what i got now. Wish me luck~!!

I'm piss off!

2007-04-15T18:33:00.000+08:00

Damn it!!
One of the reasons i hate coming back to msia is being treated like a kid. Expected to do that and this. Which i hate..If i don't do as I'm told i get threaten...BY MY PARENTS

I'm fed up.. Really damn it! I'm not allowed to do what i want even small thing like watching TV. How long i wanna watch TV my mum also have to control. What time i should wake up as well. Today's the worst.. She ask me to chat up with the maid. Right.. i did.. She say is not enough.. OK.. Fine! I'll do it later...Then she start throwing threats at me..

"GO TALK TO HER NOW OR NO NEW LAPTOP FOR U"
"WALK TO WORK IF U DON'T GO NOW"

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH....She is driving me mad... I already talk to the maid as she wanted but no is not enough.. the maid is lonely, pity her blah blah...YES i know.. And i did talk to her.. but is like cat and dog talking.. The maid is Cambodian.. Her english is so basic that i struggle to talk to her...And most of her replies is yes mam, yes mam and yes mam...Not much of conversation is there?

Then my mum keep screaming at the top of her saying i'm stupid, she didn't hire the maid for me to use...blah blah... GOD... If i'm that stupid, fine go talk to the maid yourself. I didn't bloody use the maid.. i made my own bed, wash my own dishes! She is driving me crazy!!!

I can't believe i only been home for less than 2 weeks, i already felt like going to back to UK. Where i can clean the house my way, put my things where i like, wear the clothes i prefer, wake up whatever time i want!!!

I'm NOT A CHILD FOR HEAVEN SAKE~!!!!!!!

no inspiration...

2007-04-15T00:28:00.000+08:00

I'm so bloody bored. I'm home for more than a week. i only went out once.(with friends though,mum not counted) Can u believe that? I didn't even go out shopping!! That's so not me! OMG..

Worse of all, i have nothing to blog about...NADAH~!!

我的朋友 My Friends Kawanku

2007-04-11T00:07:00.000+08:00

I'm a Hainanese btw, LOL!! I totally agree with this song~!!

hmmm?

2007-04-08T09:33:00.000+08:00

My previous post had gotten a few good arguments comments. So is better for me to write another post because this is gonna be very very long.

Nicko's view of guys ego is rather interesting. I never really thought guys thinks or behave different from the topic of ego and a thin line of responsibilities. Though
I don't quite get the part that a guy needs to feel smarter than his girl in order to protect her. Protecting your loves ones has nothing to do with intelligence. If is insecurities, he should talk about it with his girl. But what causes the insecurities? Sometimes there are just so many factors that could be involve but how do u know which is wrong which right? Do u think that being smarter can protect your girl? I think she need love more than wisdom. Have u ever heard than a woman always love the man more than he love her? I think that phrase is quite true. I know many girls who are willing to do anything for her man because she love him. When it come the other way round, it could be quite different. Why can't man love woman like the way a woman loves a man? Why must logic and other factors be include in their equation of love?

Responsibility, how do u categories it? In what should a man be responsible to his girl? heard of guys who control their girl too much, and also girl who complain that their guy don't care enough? Every man set a different limit or should i say extend of what should he do for his girl. Same goes for every girl who need different levels of attention. This simple form of care and attention cause many couple to have argument or even break up. Solution to this, communication. Just bloody ask each other what is too much and what is too little. As simple as that. I know i know. Easier said than done. Maybe sometimes the problem is you don't listen when your other side is talking. U think u know what's the best for her or him. I'm being very general here. Girls and guys same thing.

Why there should be a dominant gender? Isn't this the 21st century? I'm not being biased or promoting girl power or that sort. One of the anonymous comment was is nice to rely on guys. Yes i admit it is. But do the guys have to go on and on about no matter how smart or capable a girl is she need someone to rely on? It is really normal to rely on someone sometimes. Even guys do that without realising it. If u never thought that how nice would it be if someone could do something for u, than u must be lying to yourself. Every single human being rely on each other no matter the gender.

Men are from Mars and Women are Venus. Are we really that different from each other? aren't we the same species just different gender. Yes girls complain alot. We let it all out. But Do guys listen to our ranting? If u really did, is not so hard to understand us. We might blabber a lot of rubbish but read in between the line would ya? We hid meaning in those words. We find that way easier to get the message across without hurting the guy's ego. Tell me if this is wrong or right because I know most guys keep all inside them. So how do u expect us to understand your action? Girls are not mind reader,just u know...I know guys aren't as well..

So how do we solve the problem eh?

clever or dumb gf?

2007-03-24T01:00:00.000+08:00

I was just talking to my bf the other days about how guys would like their gf to be. Alot of guys like pretty yet not so smart looking gf next to them. Guys always need the boast of ego so that they feel confidence to show off their gf. He was talking to his friends and they were talking about girls. One of the comment was would they mind if their gf/wife is a career woman. Then all fingers pointed at my bf. Apparently all of them thinks i'm a smart,career woman type. Luckily my bf is not one of those guys who mind if their gf is smarter than him. Not than i'm smarter than my bf, he's actually quite smart(seriously). It just that i appear looking smarter.

I admit i set high expectation for myself, i doubt i would be content staying at home and be a housewife.. All the education wasted on me. But also i cannot survive with the full time job stress at the same time. I'm kinda in a position which i'm doubtful of what i wanna do but that not an issue now.

I get really piss when a guy say he prefer a gf is not smarter than his or as long as she knows her place and appear to be dumb. Arghhh!!! Girls and guys has the same size of brain. Is not that some girl are smart some are dumb. The matter is whether how u use or not use your brain at all. I know all these scientist who discover that or this are MEN but it was because of the culture back then. Women are not allowed to be educated. BLurrr!!!

EGO!

I can't stand a girl who also pretend to be dumb so her bf would keep her. I mean what's the point? He should love a girl as who she is and not what she pretend to be.

Hopeless!

So go bloody find someone who will appreciate u as who u are, smart or dumb whatever it is. And as for guys... If u can't have your gf smarter than u then make yourself smarter instead of complaining that your gf is smarter than as if it is a weakness or bad point! Is not her problem, is your problem~!

long overdue post!

2007-03-21T01:51:00.000+08:00

Chinese new Year!!

I know is long over, i should have blog about it ages ago...But as usual, i got lazy! =P

First Day of Chinese New Year!
We dine at Sam's~! I know.. why eat at the place i work at.. but Sam's serve the best chinese food in Aberdeen and its CNY
of coz must eat very good chinse food! So me, wendy, Maxine,

Jaya, Da Juinn, Chen soon(Uncle),

Joni,

Viknesh,

Suresh and Chong(Dun have their pic) went makan makan! hehe!

Fourth Day of CNY!
Makan makan again! This time at my house. Steamboat! Yay! Potluck style, thank you everyone for bringing so much food and Viknesh's curry is yummy!!

Welcome welcome! outside very cold o~!

HUh? i'm cooking la..don't want to take pic!

Taking a break and pose for pic with Tik Kai..My apron make me look like housewife~! LOL

Pic everyone! no one pose...everyone too busy eating!

hmmm...try again.. haih...still no one..sad la..

Eileen can't wait to eat... Food not yet cook la!

What u do to Jason,JO???

My two best buddies~!!

DND & 潔西卡

2007-03-20T01:32:00.000+08:00

Semisonic, DND.
Tabbed by Martin Ford, arkseyfords@lineone.com.

DND – Semisonic
------------------------------------------
Tabbed by Martin Ford
A simplified version, to get rhythm listen to C.D, a good song to practise with.
Verse/Chorus: E A D A
DND Now they'll leave us alone
DND Now you turn off the phone
How like you to make the whole world disappear and
How like you to make everything seem so clear and
How like you to make me want to stay forever
Here behind your door
DND Hang the sign on the door
DND Don't disturb us no more
How like you to make your love my hideaway and
How like you to make my troubles slide away and
How like you to make me want to play forever
Here behind your door
Bridge: Bm G D A D A
Bm G D A E
Minute I got some space and time I
Wanted to get me back in the crowd
Minute I got some peace you found me
Trying to make my way to the loud
What a clown...
DND Leave the hotel at noon
DND Will I see you soon?
How like you to make the whole world disappear and
How like you to make everything seem so clear and
How like you to make me want to stay forever
Here behind your door
DND DND
DND
Now they'll leave us alone

I'm wendy's now.. And uncle keeps playing and singing this song.. Is really getting into my head..and also this song that Caleb sent me ages ago..Title JESSICA aka 潔西卡 by Tank, listen to the lyrics properly. It so me back then...LOL

Curse...

2007-03-18T10:33:00.000+08:00

I am cursed. Damn it!

i have totally no idea why am i feeling down. really down. Whenever i see her name, i go nuts. What am i suppose to do? I can't control anything. I can't stop her from contacting him. I can't stop him from being 'friends' with her. I can't make him understand how much it hurts me even have her name mention or see the things that she gave to him. I can't control my own feelings. Even he reassure me over and over again. 'Spana' she really is. He don't see it that way.

It took a huge chuck of me to forgive him and to start all over again. He don't understand how much. So much.. so so much. How i wish he understand how i feel. how she gives me nightmare. how i don't want our relationship to be wretched by her. why can't i stop having nightmares, is like a spell she cast on our relationship. I'm so tired, tired of fighting, fighting my own instinct. How i wish my instinct could be wrong, but is never wrong.

I love him so dearly, i don't want to be a possessive gf. I was never one yet slowly turning into one. I wish she would just disappear from our life. I hate myself for feeling this way. She like a wrath, clenching her claws on any guys who have a gf. Wrenching them apart is her hobby. Envious of other because she can't have it with her own bf. How can i fight such evil? I'm just a normal being.

I start to wonder, is there a problem with me? Is it wrong for me to feel this way? She scare the hell outta my wits. I cannot bear it for much longer. I'm at my limit. I know I'm capable of doing terrible things. Any human can. I don't want to resort to that,stomping as low as she. She is not worthy of my time.

Forget, forget, forget. Let him reassure me. That's all i can do right now. The day she will manage to wretch my relationship apart is the day i die.

Over my dead body.

get out of my life!!!

2007-03-18T05:00:00.000+08:00

I meant! Fuck off!

Seriously go get yourself another life!
Better still, go find another hobby,
Wretching others relationship very fun meh?

He's my life.
Fuck off from my life!

i need a placement!!!

2007-03-08T09:15:00.000+08:00

I have applied, no replies...
I'm desperated now!
End of march is my dead line!
If I can't get a placement by then i'm going home.
Definately can get a job back home.
But i wanna stay here.

Someone please help me?

Yida and my bb alike?

2007-03-04T10:30:00.000+08:00

My cousin say that Chris and Yida(Singapore artist)looks alike! Do they?

2 years

2007-03-02T08:20:00.000+08:00

It has been 2 years ever since i started blogging. Blogging really make me feel better.. Expressing whatever or however i felt at that moment that i just need to burst out. Reading back my previous blog, i realise i have change alot especially the past year i'm in UK. Alot of things happened as well. My 21 is definately not boring but i have to say is not a good year yet not too bad. Atleast i learn alot..

LOL

2007-03-01T10:55:00.000+08:00

I just change my status for a week...Just a week.. and my profile got view so many times..I think this month was on of my highest hit! lol... so bloody funny!

Advise for guys...

2007-02-28T03:36:00.001+08:00

guys...realize that the girl holding
onto u..
is PERFECT in her own special way.

The way she laughs..
The way she sleeps..
The way she loves you..
The way she tries to please you...

Always remember that.

She can always get up and walk away,
getting someone else who can love her
more.

For all you know,
there is someone out there wooing her
already,
but she is rejecting,
a maybe perfect love for her..

There might also be someone out there..
who is willing to love her more than
you are loving her now,
fufill her every need and love her as
much as she loves you.

Understand that.

Imagine this, guys.
When you are holding her today...
and then you cheat on her by hugging
and kissing another gal.
and then you run back to her...
and u do the same....
but you see love in her eyes...
What do you think?
Do you feel the hurt?
Can you feel the guilt?

She loves you not because you are
good looking,
have money,
buy her things,
make her parents happy,
or that you have a car.

She loves you for who you are.
Your every touch, every word you say,
everything you do.

Guys.
Cherish and appreciate your girl.
Don't break her fragile heart.
She is the only one who can love you
that way.

You won't wanna regret letting go of
that special girl you have.

For everything she has done for you,
the least you can do is to give her
unconditional love as she has given to
you.

My heart should no longer ache.

2007-02-26T11:27:00.000+08:00

He's back on my side,
The joy he brings i cannot explain,
The look on his face,
That I'm everything to him.

For he i had cried,
For he i felt pain,
For he i smile again,
For he i forgot the past.

I no longer have nightmares,
Enduring the pain strengthens me,
The sun is shining for me,
And he is the sun.

Start all over again,
Without tears and pain,
For i have given it all i have,
Putting my last courage in it.

My hair is cropped short,
Cutting away the tangle and mess,
Our relationship was cut,
Removing the pains and trouble.

I was no happy without him,
We miss each other dearly,
Starting anew,starting afresh,
Remaking the love we lost.

With a word from u,
My heartache disappear,
With a kiss from u,
My smile returns.

U fill my life with colours,
Paint it with your love,
Craving it with your care,
Loving every moment i have with u.

I shall cry no more,
I shall forget the past,
I shall smile for u,
I shall love u all over again.

I love u,baby!

thank you...

2007-02-16T00:45:00.000+08:00

Thank you for being there for me,
Cheering me up with i'm in despair,
Lending me your shoulder to cry on,
Wipe my tears dry and make me smile,
Give me something to hold on to,
Catching me when i was falling,
Helping me get up on my feet,
Listen to my endless complains,
Taking care of me when i can't,
I can only say thank you.

For everything u have done.

i'm such a fool....

2007-02-15T00:45:00.000+08:00

I knew it all along.. Ever since he met her again during Holloween when i was away in London. I didn't do anything about it.. I trusted him. And he betrayed my trust. Friends as they maybe but the love he had for her grew stronger. Never stopped him even he knew she had a bf.

He cared less and less for me...No phone calls, never find just because he misses but always because i ask him to. Making it worse, the way i was first introduced to her. He said he was going to toilet and left me with his friend, came back half an hour later with her. Wow..great, what a way to introduce a girl u supposely used to like to your gf. I had no idea that she was coming, u can't imaigine how i felt yet i had to hide behind my smile. The second time i met her, was exactly the same. She just turn up, according to him, he invited her. I was piss. But i did nothing.

The first argument we had, was also about her. I was shopping with wendy on boxing day, while waiting for her to be done. I saw him with HER and his friend tagging along behind. I don't know how to react. I just stoned right there. Earlier that day i had ask him to shop with me but he refused saying he promised his housemates to shop with them instead. Fine with me, called him half an hour before bumping into him asking who was with him. He said just another friend, his housemates went home.. He lie. I know he did. HE hang up on me so quickly and i can always sense in his voice when he lied. Later that nigh when everyone was over at my house for a party. I lost appetite. I couldn't bring myself to eat. After finish cooking i just locked myself in the room. He came to check on me. I ask him to explain himself. He told me he bump into her while waiting for his friend. And they decide to shop together. Hearing this makes me more piss. Just fucking tell me when i called u, is it that hard? Is there's nothing better you two why even bother to lie. I bump into him as well, but he didn't shop with me or ask me to shop together. I knew deep down inside me, he like her more than me. I just wouldn't admit it to myself there and then. I wished i would have..i really do.

I was working on New Year eve. There was a concert near my work place. He came over to pass me my ring that i left at his place. After work, i went to his place just to be with him. Even i knew he was with HER, news travel so fast in Aberdeen. I keep quiet. I ask him nth of it.(later i found out, she hugs and gave him a kiss after the countdown and he return the same) I fall sick the next day. When i was staying at his place, so sick that i'm always in the bed sleeping. Yet i know he was sneaking around smsing her. The look on his face told me everything. I did something i would never had to do. I read his smses. He kept all HER smses in another folder. There was more than 100.. By just reading a few, i couldn't bring myself to read anymore. HE gave HER a christmes present and CARD. In the card, apparrently he wrote a very long story about how he felt when he first met her. He even remeber the exact date. I was literrally heartbroken. Because he wrote in my card that i'm the first and only girl he ever got a present and card for Christmas. SHE miss him TOO, wished to see him. No one would reply TOO if u didn't say it first. I really wonder do he even think about my feeling before doing all this nononse with HER? Do i even exist in his heart? Nevertheless, i keep quiet. HE had exams coming. I didn't wanna disturb his studies.

He finished his exams a day before me birthday. The same day i went skiing with Jo. When i reach Aberdeen about 7, I tried to call him. Over and over again. Everyone was gonna go out with me to celebrate my bday. And he's not around. He's never around when i need him the most. He called me late afternoon the next day. I half expected he wouldn't turn up. We had a talk that night. He didn't know that i knew so much. I ask of him to contact her less. Just be hi bye friends. He said he would try. i believe him. I really did. I was such a fool. When we went to Sweden, I was so happy till the last day. I was cooking breakfast, need his help with the eggs. Saw him on the computer. Chatting with her. TEN in the morning. What a coincident. I couldn't help myself. i broke down literally. I have tried to hard to close one eye to make the the trip memorable and pleasant. And he have to do this. WHY!! He just left me alone in the cafeteria. I really didn't want to spoil the holiday. I took a deep breath and put on my mask.

When we were on the bus to the airport later that night, the seat was mostly occupied and we had to seat separately. He was sitting infront of me. I just tap his shoulder to tell him something and i saw her sms him and he was about to reply. I look away not wanting to know what's the content of the sms. It might drive me nuts. So on the quiet bus ride, i began to think. I ask him to contact her less. HE might take it as he didn't initiate the smses and don't feel any guilt by replying them. When we reach glasgow that night. We had another talk. No tears. Just talk. HE finally admitted they have been smsing even when he was on a holiday with me. He just said he reply sms. He didn't initiated. I was really dissapointed in him. He make me believe him and yet sneaking behind my back. I told myself i had enough. I was really tired and frustrated.i told him, if there's HER there's no me and there's me there's no HER.

When we reach Aberdeen the next night,i ask for an answer. HE couldn't give me one. HE ask me for time. With a heavy heart, i gave in. I should have stop it there and then. If SHE was important to him, it wouldn't be any difficulty of being hi bye friends. But no, i was a fool.

Yesterday night well early this morning, i was talking to him about Jo. About her waiting. I ask him will i wait in vain? HE said he'll tell me after Valentine's DAY which is today. I knew there and then that was the end of our relationship. I force it out of him. I couldn't bear spending Valentine's Day with someone who is just doing it because he need to and not because he wanted to. I cried till there was no more tears in my eyes and i still cried without tears. I didn't understand. Why could he let her go? Do he really love her more than me? Maybe i was such a lousy gf, difficult to pleased. I was just on the phone with him without much just the sound of me cying. I am so heartbroken. I shouldn't have let my guards down. I was really a fool. If wendy hadn't called, I wouldn't have the courage to hang up the phone on him. Thanks babe! U always save me from my most difficult position.

That's it. None of my bfs had ever spent Valentine's Day with me except for Kelvin(Noy only one but 2 Valentines,however we didn't pass the third). I think i'm cursed to be alone on Valentine's.

Well to all my friends, have a great Happy Valentine's Day, I'm sure is better than me.

My birthday~!

2007-02-13T05:39:00.000+08:00

I know i said in my resolution that i'll blog often but for the past two weeks i didn't..Well not proper blogging anyway..It just that when my mood swings seriously makes me feel like doing nothing. And i mean really nothing, except to lie down on my bed all day long reading books..=(

Well now i'm back,hopefully for a longer period before my mood swings hits again! =P

My first birthday day treat was a day ski trip on 24th. Jo planned everything and also paid for everything! Thank you so much!muaks muaks! She rented a car and we drove up to Glenshee. She also got me a new hat and ski googles! Had an hour of ski lesson and I was able to ski properly by the end of the day~!! It so cool and cold as well! Too bad we didn't had chance to take any photos because we left the camera in the car and both of are too lazy to walk back to the car wearing heavy, not so easy to walk in ski boots. Though we got some photos of the mmountain on the drive back~!
The view is nothing compare to the pictures i took!!!

Jo driving with one hand! LOL

We finally reach Aberdeen, both of us are dead tired. So being lazy and tired, we eat at Royal China. The cook is so sweet! Got extra dishes, a red flower on the fish we ordered and even have prepare a small bun with candle on it. John, Jimmy and Tik Kai was working that night and sang me a birthday song! Thank guys!! The food was too much for us and we had to ta pau...LOL! I was feeling bad that Jo spent alot of money on the ski trip so i offer to pay dinner and RC gave me discount! So nice of them!

After some rest, i went out clubbing with everyone at Paramount. Had a blast and a little tipsy because Jaya keep buying me drink! Had a shot of tequila when everyone countdown my birthday just as the bar close!

Jaya, Viknesh, Wendy and me~!

Uncle,Jaya,Jo and my face looks too white because of the camera flash~!

Chris came over to pick me up for my birthday dinner. He surpise me with whole lots of book that i wanted and bringing me to one of my favourite restaurant in Aberdeen,La Tasca. And as always the food there is so good! Thanks baby! Love u always!

I really glad that i have a bunch of great friends and thank you so much for making my birthday so memorable! Love ya all~!

not in mood for anything..

2007-02-05T10:54:00.000+08:00

Each time i try to blog..i just got nth to say except to whine..whining about the same damn problem that been bothering me for the past two months.
So no point keep whining about the same thing..Can't do anything either..shall say nth till the problem is settle..Hopefully..

i'm 64% un-malaysian?!!

2007-01-31T08:57:00.000+08:00

Congratulations wang jing sze, you are 64% not Malaysian.

That means you're as Malaysian as...

Guy Sebastian !

How Un-Malaysian Are You?

a story of a girl...

2007-01-16T08:11:00.000+08:00

A girl was walking on the street and saw a cute guy on the passing bus. The image of the guy stays on her mind the whole day. On the very same night, the guy added her on friendster. Fate came across her mind. Unfortunately that guy has a girlfriend. She just let the thought pass by. After she's not a boyfriend stealer. She know how painful is it to have your boyfriend stolen from you.

A few months has pass, she is back in her home country which just happened to be his as well. They chatted online quite a few times online like old friends. They even exchange number so that can meet sometimes for coffee or a meal.

A few months later, the guy really did call her out. During the meal she found out he's single again. Unfortunately this time round the girl has a boyfriend. She is confuse about her feeling. Some time later, the guy accidently kiss the girl while comforting her and admitted he likes her too. The kiss confirm the girl's feeling for this guy. She like him more than her boyfriend. She broke up with her boyfriend because is unfair for him and started going out with this guy that make her really happy and secure.She's glad she make the right choice and can't bear being away from her guy. The guy filled her life with beautiful colours and makes her very happy when she's with him.

Though fate have been playing her around in circle, she's glad that fate did it. It make her appreciate the guy more. Though sometimes the guy does something without knowing it would hurt her, she bare its and take the challenge. She hopes to be once more strong as she was before her heart was broken.

That girl is ME.

can't stop thinking about him~

2007-01-15T08:00:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning, feeling all mushy inside. I dreamt of him last night. Not a nice romantic dream though. But it make me realise something. How much i miss him, how much i wanna hold him in my arm and feeling secure when he tells me he loves me. Never really felt this way before. I mean missing someone so much that i just wanna rush over to him and give him a big kiss.

I miss the way he hold me when we are walking,
I miss the way he smell when he hugs me tightly,
I miss him teasing me with jokes and seeing my expression,
I miss the look on his face when he cooks for me,
I miss the worry look he have on his face when i was sick,
I miss the sleepy face of his in the morning and just cuddle me before going back to sleep,
I miss the delighted face of his when he sees me,
I miss him holding me from behind when I'm cooking for him,
I miss the way he kisses me before sleeping,
I miss the cute,freezing look when he just come out of shower,
I basically miss everything about him.

When i was walking back home just now after dinner with Wendy, I keep counting the number of buses I could have take to go to his place. I keep holding myself back,telling myself he needs to focus on his studies. I'll just be a distraction if I'm there. I know if i give him a call and say I'm coming over he would be gladly waiting and run to the door when the bells rings but i can't because i know he need to study.

How i wish i could just look at him when he study silently at his desk,
How i wish i can cook meals for him and call him when the food is ready,
How i wish i could give him a massage when his back ache from sitting down too long,
How i wish i can make him coffee to stay awake to study,
How i wish i can do laundry and clean up his place so he will feel comfortable.

I just wanna be by his side...

Jo's 21st on 22nd NOV

2007-01-14T22:36:00.000+08:00

I finally got to blog about Jo's birthday!! I got the pictures today...so here's it!!

The birthday girl with me~!!!

We had a fantastic dining at La Stella. The food was great! Take a look for yourself~!
My starters..Haggis with smoked cod~! Yummy~!

Prawn Cocktail~

Baked salmon with cheese~

This my main course, Angus beef steak with creamy mushroom sauce!

Salmon with sweet potato~!

Roast chicken with mash potato~!

Yummy desserts~!Forget their names...Hahaha~!

The wine is very good too considering the fact is house wine~!

Company..no need to say..very funny group with talks about gay! hahaha~! Ah Soong, Ong Yong, Kia Gee, Caleb, Nicko, Siva with the rose covering his face and Ah Lam!

And also Sam, Tik Kai, Chong and Wendy!

Sasa,Jo and me~!

The four leng luis~!!

My two favourite persons on earth~!!

Jo took this~! Very nice hor?

The cutest ever birthday cake with the prettiest birthday girl! Such a great match, isn't it???

i'm still sick...

2007-01-13T22:32:00.000+08:00

This new year flu is bugging me~! I been coughing and sneezing for the past two weeks~!!!I eat my medication until finish already also still sick...Later have to go buy some more...haih...

I'm a baby when I'm sick..I need people to take care of me. Especially those i love being around with...Doesn't help that i can't see my bf for another 2 weeks..i already miss him like crazy for not seeing him for a week..2 more weeks to go..=(. He did take care of me last week but i can't disturb him from his studies...Honours year..cannot fail..

I miss him so much...

Living in the same city but can't see him...agony...

where is the boundary of guy and girl being friends?

2007-01-12T08:24:00.000+08:00

Can a guy and girl be really really good friends without any crossing over? I'm bugged!
Fine! Jealous~!

I know that girl has a bf. When got problem with her bf she call my bf. Saying she wants to see him la, miss him la,needs comfort,etc...But of all her friends why my bf?
Friends only i know. But i can't help to dislike her. Maybe because i know my bf like her before and was planning to go after her but i came into picture. My bf say she don't know he like her before but i think she knows.. He treats her so nice.. How can she not know?

I'm just paranoid..maybe.. Please tell me i am. Coz he's a good guy. Good guy are rare these days. I don't wanna lose him...no self confident coz she's prettier and better than me in every aspect...=(

let me get well soon..

2007-01-10T22:26:00.000+08:00

i'm still sick.. great! not! I have an exam tomorrow that i'm totally have no confident in passing let alone scoring... i dead. so dead. i'm gonna fail.

Y do i have to be sick! i hate being sick! I don't want to be sick. PLease let me get well by today. At least tomorrow i have a clear head of mind to go for the exam! I know is impossible... Haih...

I'm so depressed...

headache

2007-01-09T03:19:00.000+08:00

headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache

Inconsistent blogging..

2007-01-07T22:59:00.000+08:00

I'm a terrible blogger.. Really am.. Rarely update my blog and mostly talk about crap. Well maybe the second part don't really count. But still i'm an inconsistent blogger.

Maybe i should add to my new year resolution. Yea...I think I will..

9. Blog more often!

Just went through my archive and realised by this March i would be blogging for 2 years. Well sort of...Hehe~!

I'm still sick. Have no idea how am i going survive my exam tomorrow!!! My exam is TOMORROW~! And i haven't really been studying. Feeling terrible right now..

oh yea...forgot to mention~!

2007-01-07T04:37:00.000+08:00

My pics got post online twice~! haha~! Once at Jolie's 21st

and another last saturday when i was out with JoEy~!

2007 New Year Resolution

2007-01-07T03:40:00.000+08:00

I never bother to makeany new year resolution.. Mainly because i know i never achieve them.. Stupid me always set a standard too high for myself to reach.. So this year i'll go slow and easy...

1. Try to get a proper job in Aberdeen if possible. Seriously don't want to move to another city..Too much of hassle..

2. Be nice and not grumpy most of the time. ( i will try very very hard not to get angry)

3. Quit swearing~!

4. Be more ladylike. Meaning no more immature or childish attitude. Must be a LADY~!

5. Stay heathly! Go to gym more often~!

6. More hardworking~! cannot be lazy lazy~!

7. Make my relationship with Chris work and last~! COMPROMISE!

8. Never ever run away again! well...from problems i meant...

So far thats all i can think of...brain stop functioning a week ago after i fall sick... Still sick now.. Need to study... Stress...

Tik Kai's b'day~! 12th Dec

2007-01-06T05:13:00.000+08:00

I nearly forgot to blog about Tik Kai's b'day~! And Connie's and plus it was my mum b'day on the same day as well~! Phew...12 12...

I know i look terrible..I had no time to change or make-up... Rush home from uni and started cooking and cooking...Hopefully i'm not turning into a Yellow face woman... What a scary thought... My special bak kut teh was the main menu~! Along with yau char kiu~! Feel so satisfied after a hard day cooking and my food taste good~!

Anyway...b'day as usual is face smashing into the cake~! muahahahaha~!

I didn't smash any to your face~! really~!!!

She did it! LOL~!

ok ok la... real b'day cake~! Joey special lemon cheese cake~! Yum Yum~!
Happy Birthday Tik Kai and Connie~!

Last but not least...GROUP PIC!!!

pot luck at Viknesh~! 28th Dec

2007-01-06T04:49:00.000+08:00

Well...it was suppose to be a pot luck...Me and wendy got there the earliest...like 8pm... the party suppose to start at 7pm... Most of the people only turn up after 9.30pm.. The beef stew i cooked was the only "pot luck"! LOL...

The party was great! We had poker game and 21. i won lotsa money~!! muahaha~! but only chips la..not real money... =P

See how serious was i? hahaha!~ Like gambling queen~!

See the fireplace~! damn cool~! right?

Pass midnight. The gambling room was change into the dance floor~!Me,peggy and wendy posing others too busy dancing~!

More crazy photos~!

Group pic~!

Thanks for the great fun, Viknesh and Jaya~!

Christmas at Wendy's~

2007-01-06T04:36:00.000+08:00

i woke up with a hangover on Christmas Day.Dunno why.. i didn't drink that much the night before... Had a nice shower. DRAG myself to walk in the cold to wendy's... Can't believe there's no bus services... Doesn't help the weather being wet and cold~!

But is all worth it~! I love Christmas~! So much joy and passion~! Not to mention the food was fantastic~! Minus my chicken wings...too spicy...hehe~!

Group pic~! Too bad han jian, beng, soo chin, pak khuen and nicko was at Sam's place..

Taken in the kitchen with Pak Khuen and Chong~!

I love mirror~! Especially huge 1~!=P

We having fun with wendy's i-mac~!

Odd fingers~!

WOO! Curve beer bottle~!

Last but not least...me and wendy~!!!

nth better else to do...

2007-01-06T04:15:00.000+08:00

Your True Love Is a Libra

Why you'll love a Libra:

Social and charming, a Libra is sure to turn your head in a group setting.
Libra has the style and grace to intrigue you... and the passionate soul to reel you in.

Why a Libra will love you:

You're laid back and patient. Libra doesn't feel rushed to make a decision with you.
An appreciator of beauty, you can show Libra all sorts of inspiration - from art to nature.

What Sign Is Your True Love?

Your Love Element Is Earth

In love, you have consistency and integrity.
For you, love is all about staying grounded and centered.

You attract others with your zest for life and experiences.
Your flirting style is defined by setting the scene, creating a unique moment in time.

Steady progress and stability are the cornerstones of your love life.
You may take things too slowly, but you never put your heart at risk.

You connect best with: Fire

Avoid: Wood

You and another Earth element: need each other too much to build a good foundation

What Element Is Your Love?

You Are Somewhat Mature

You definitely act like an adult sometimes, but a big part of you is still a kid at heart.
While your immature side is definitely fun, you're going to have to grow up sooner or later.

Are You Immature?

You Have Low Self Esteem 28% of the Time

Generally, you feel pretty darn great about who you are, even when you mess up or fail.
Occasionally, a huge setback will make you question yourself, but you pick yourself up quickly.

How is Your Self Esteem?

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.

You give and take equally in relationships.

You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.

You're secretly hoping your partner will change for you.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

Your Dominant Intelligence is Interpersonal Intelligence

You shine in your ability to realate to and understand others.
Good at seeing others' points of view, you get how people think and feel.
You have an uncanny ability to sense true feelings, intentions, and motivations.
A natural born leader, you are great at teaching and mediating conflict.

You would make a good counselor, salesperson, politician, or business person.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

christmas eve party at my house~!

2007-01-05T05:23:00.000+08:00

Well, we wanted to go clubbing after work actually but by the time we went out at 12 something..All the clubs were close.. So we end up in my house partying till 5am~! haha!! alcohol and cards...I'm the only girl who wasn't drunk.. =P well...all the boys wasn't drunk either... Just soo chin and man man got drunk and was sleeping away on the sofa...LOL...Pak khuen was tipsy though..=P

Sam's crew at my house~

The boys~

The girls~ minus the one who cover his face with the cushion..

Say cheese~!!

Jolie's 21st birthday~! at tonik on 23rd dec~!

2007-01-05T05:20:00.000+08:00

Jolie's party was great! Never knew there's a club that play such cool music instrument! Plus the magarita is good there..yum yum~! one glass i was already tipsy.. maybe i drank on a half full stomach..=P

Me and Jolie the birthday~!

the girls~!

Jolie and the boys~

Joni's christmas house party~!! on18th Dec

2007-01-05T04:04:00.000+08:00

I'm suppose to blog about this ages ago...But never got the time or mood to do it.. Currently taking a break from my studies...hehehe... Got a bit lazy...

The party was great, food was nice and lotsa ppl turn up. We had plenty fun~!!!

why do i have to be sick each time before exams~!!!!

2007-01-05T03:54:00.000+08:00

I'm always sick before exams.. I don't know if it is physcologically or just plain stress~! And every single time I'm so sick that i can't really study.. This time it so bad that i been coughing blood with phlegm. U know usually phlegm are yellow or green colour right? mine is brown with strands of blood. Fever occasionally doesn't help..

My boyfriend is dead worry about me. He been forcing me to eat medicine..Everyone knows how much i hate medicine. Mainly because i can't swallow pills. At least today, I can get off the bed and did a little of studies...

Please let me get well soon~ I need to study........

is over...well nearly

2006-12-20T15:55:00.000+08:00

After a few days into Christmas holiday i finally have to sit and blog! I been so busy with uni work that it nearly drove me crazy..Luckily, i got over it and now what is left to be done is send out my application letters, manage my portfolio and study for my exams! Omg after listing it out, it seems like i still got so much thing to be done.. Haih.. I need a holiday... A proper holiday without worries.. Maybe i have grown old over the year...As 2006 is coming to its end i just realise how much i have been through this year.. So many new things just waiting for me to discover them.. Somehow i'm worried that i might not be able to cope with it..

This year really tire me out.. Emotionally and physically.. Four boyfriends in a year.. My highest record ever! How i manage it to pull it off, still surprises me.. Compare to my current boyfriend, the last 2 were really crappy..maybe i was just fooling around.. I seems to have turn into someone else this year.. Not good though, luckily that bad habit is out of my life.. Well hopefully, definately don't want to be a girl who 'step two boat with a foot'! That was never me and will never be me.. Maybe i giving myself excuses, but being 21 seriously is very different.

Sort of like , i just entered another phrases of my life and i'm about to step out of it.. I will no longer be 21 soon, 22 is just around the corner.. another phrase i hope.. Maybe is time for me to really settle down,stop doing crazy stuff and be a amture adult. Life is weird isn't it? I'm happy right now and i hope it will always stay that way,hopefully.. Trouble is always looking for me.. I'm tired, need a good rest..

where do i stand?

2006-11-13T21:24:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i wonder, where do i stand? In the hearts of people around me..

I talked to my half sis on saturday and she told me that my dad just came back from Japan, brought alot of stuffs etc etc...i was like ok! good!then i went to bed i was thinking...Wait a minute...How come my dad went to Japan and i don't even know about it? hmm...fine..whatever...really..

I got so bloody used to knowing everything last...that's if i ever find out.. Am i invisible? Doesn't my existence mean something? I wonder sometimes...really really had a good thought about it...And i realise i'm just a mistake. That's it. Nothing more nothing less.

I'm so envious when i see happy children with happy parents. Parents who really care for their child. I got so envious once when my boyfriend's dad wrote him a letter(considering his parents calls him everyday!) that i cry. Tears just flow out of my eyes. I didn't even intend to cry, i just did. i feel like a fool sometimes when i talked about my 'parents' to my boyfriend. He don't understand. I don't blame him, he's so lucky that he will never understand my 'parents'.

I'm thankful,really. To my boyfriend and Jo. For always being there when i need them. That's all i need.

very very upset...

2006-11-07T07:05:00.000+08:00

what happened to my house that once have a home feel? what have i done? why did i soften my heart?why why why??

Falling Leaves

2006-11-06T06:40:00.000+08:00

It's autumn now in Aberdeen. The weather is cold and sulky.. I don't feel like doing anything except staying at home and do nothing..So got myself a book that i loan from han jian ages ago but never had the chance to sit down and read it.

So happened the book is titled 'falling leaves'. Just right for the season and the mood i'm in right now. As usual, i finished the book today.=P i know i'm a too fast of a reader. Right this moment, i feel my life is described in that book. The feeling of unloved, unwanted and a burden to my so-called family.

I never felt real love family. My father and mother divorced when i was really young,i think i was about a year after i was born. I was practically thrown around the family to whom ever willing to nanny me. When my mother won the lawsuit against my father for my custody, i was left a my maternal grandmother's house and my mother flew off to Japan to make her fortune. i miss my grandmother alot, she took care of me and showed me what i needed most. LOVE. But i guess i was a nuisance after a few years, my mother moved me to a permanent nanny's house in Cheras. I went to pre-school there for 3 years.

During that period of time, i had rare visit from my fourth auntie. She was the only one who was willing to drive all the way to Cheras to visit me. I really enjoyed those time where she brings me out to shop and dine. My mother visited me 3 to 4 times in that entire period and she never stayed more than a single day. As for my father, once where he came to bring me home for Chinese New Year and also to meet his new wife.

My mother then moved me to Subang Jaya, a new nanny house. I lived with her for 4 years. She's nice and everything but she's not my mother and obviously favours her sons. There's once one of her son beat me up because i couldn't draw the picture he wanted. Keep in mind he's five years younger than me. When his father came looking for him, he was shocked and just pull his son away from me. Asking if i'm ok and just gave his son a lecture. From that point onwards, i told myself never to let anyone bully me and i never did let anyone. I began to keep to myself and excel in my studies.

Maybe once in 2 years, i would take the plane by myself and goes back to my father's house. And every single time i felt left out and i really hated being there. The only consolation was my cousins was superb towards me and my aunts and uncles always invite me to their home. My stepmother sometimes even complain that i spend too much time at my relative's house and i should stay at home and do the houseworks. She often complains to my father that airfare is too expensive and he should not bring me home too much. Even if my grandfather and grandmother wanted to see me, i should just that the bus.(i wasn't even 12 that time) I was never invited to her side of family and she was deferred me away as if i'm not my father's daughter.

I stayed with my mother for the rest of my secondary school years. I wasn't happy at home. My mother is particularly demanding and often tell me that since she is making the money to support our family, she become the father figure and i have to become the mother by taking responsible of cooking meal and cleaning up the house. I even have the responsiblity of making sure all the bills are paid. Plus i had to juggled housework with schoolwork. Interesting? oh yea..

And as for my college life, i don't even want to write about it. Just whole lot of mess! Things only started to clear up on my last year of my college.I got in to university and with partial scholarship. Though things might seems smooth but i conned my way through. I had contract to fulfill. Life is so unfair isn't it??

DISAPOINTED WITH WHAT HAPPENED TODAY.END OF STORY.

MSA new student welcoming party~!

2006-10-25T21:18:00.000+08:00

I haven't been blogging for ages. Too busy and tired! My life is so mess up! Thank goodness Jo has been filling our blog with posts! If not this page would be so dead!!

The MSA@RGU organised a party for the new malaysian students. On the same night they annouce the new comittees.. I got nominated to be in the comittee and now i'm the new PR! The post totally suit me! So be ready for lots of clubbing events!! haha~! Just joking~! =P

I like this picture particularly because we were posing for another camera and another friend just took this picture!Nice right? Hehehe~

Me and Razif~!

Random pictures of everyone( i hope is everyone!=P)

ARGH!!

2006-10-13T18:50:00.000+08:00

This is going to an angry post, so don't read unless u wanna see me swearing and complaining every single bloody things that happened this morning which is bad considering is not even afternoon yet!!!

Starting of with me getting up late and didn't realise my boyfriend have left for uni! I totally forgot to tell him to leave the house keys for me! So when i got the call for JO i was in deep shit! Thanks heavens he's ten o'clock class was canceled and he rush home to let me out of the house!So sweet..hehe!

So i rush home to change and tried to catch a bus. Damn bus driver saw me running yet drove off! i had to sit and wait at the bus stop for another 10MINS!... I know I know... ten mins isn't long. But it does feel like forever especially when u are rushing!!!!FUCK!

Right now i'm sitting in the computer room waiting for my prints to come out but is taking forever because some asshole( dunno what shit is he printing) finish off all the paper! And the the paper were blank except for some coding at the edge! I'm been waiting for nearly 20 MINS! FUCking long!!! And i'm only printing 4 sheets of A3!!! SO FUCKING PISS OFF!!!!

i wrote this post, check all my emails, wrote a complaint letter about my modules and yet my prints are not out yet! I can't believe why the FUCK that asshole is fucking printing!!! How can someone be so fucking selfish and block up the printer!!!!ARGH!!!!!!!!

btw, is afternoon already! imaigine that... my printing is not out yet~!!!!

i wonder how am i going pass through today...haih..sad la...

new skin

2006-10-11T06:16:00.000+08:00

i'm so bloody bored of my old skin layout, needed some change. Black is not really my colour but the butterfly on this new layout is too tempting! ^_^

After all, it is time for some changes as i had few lately. So just to justify my constant skin layout changes! =P

not feeling too good...

2006-10-11T03:24:00.000+08:00

Today started badly, i'm feeling like a bad friend. I don't know how to comfort a good friend of mine. I can be a lousy friend sometimes. Lousy character reader. How can i encourage my friend not to lose faith in guys? Guys are human who cannot be predicted.. They can sweet and caring sometimes but guys are always guys who act with their penis and not their heart.That why i'm optimis about them. A guy who don't cheat on their girlfriend or wife are impossible to find.(if u found 1, you are very lucky indeed because you must be hot and fantastic) You just have to live with them because girls can't live without them.

Heart is a very fragile thing indeed. Once broken can't never be mend. My heart was broken into a thousand pieces and till now i haven't found every single piece yet and i doubt i ever will. So my partner would just have to live with just a few pieces of my broken heart. Count yourself lucky if u can even get a single piece of my broken heart. The only reason i haven't giving up hope is because i believe there is someone out there that can mend my broken heart using his true and pure heart. As long as he is loyal to me at heart i can ask no more. Loyal to me through body is nearly impossible so i'm not asking for it.

Sometimes it can get very tiring to be fighting for every single day of your life. Fight to protect yourself and your heart is just a duty to yourself. Once u give up fighting, you give up on yourself. You are all you have so don't ever give on yourself. No matter what others might stomp on you, just remember that u are a special person. The more challenges u have in your life doesn't mean u can't beat them. Just fight those challenges with all u got. Don't ever ever ever give up on yourself.

If u ever feel so tired of fighting, just remember i'll always be there for u. There isn't much i could do but at least i can be your shield for a moment. I might a lousy friend sometimes but i'll try my best to help. And you want to know why? Because u were there for me when i was tired of fighting. You help me back to my feet by setting up the first step. And being your shield even for a very short moment is the very least i could do for you. So keep fighting even if every single thing in the world seems to be against you. I believe in you.

And i also believe true love exist. So don't ever stop looking because the moment u stop,you will never find it. You might have to bleed badly along the way but when you reach the end of the battle, it would all worth it. Don't give up.

I'm sorry i was a lousy friend but i'll always be there for u if u ever need me....

not very happy~!

2006-10-10T00:57:00.000+08:00

Sorry people, couldn't upload the vidoes..My free wireless have its limits..haih what to do..

______________________________________________________________________________

Annoyed, feeling disconcerted and edgy with competitiveness *screams and stamps foot on floor*. The thing is, I know I'm not particularly good at anything, but when it comes to the dance floor...THAT'S MY TERRITORY!!! When on the floor, I feel like I can just let go, so call me wild if you want, but i couldn't give a damn.

Seriously feeling miffed, ESPECIALLY when my boyfriend told me that there's this other girl out there, who i already don't particularly like, WHO apparently charms guys with her 'cuteness' and 'innocence' (what innocence and cuteness!?!?) and can dance WIlDER!?!? than me...*Hell breaking lose*.

*considering thoughts of checking out the competition* she CAN'T dance better than me, I refuse to believe it...*shoot chris evil eye*

Oh, and to top off my day...my 'boyfriend' ditched my cooking!!! MY DELICIOUS JESSICA FAMOUS GYOZA!!! *throw pot at him*...*sniff* smells soooo good right now...definitely not saving him any...hmmp!!! =P

A not so surprise, surprise party

2006-10-07T04:59:00.000+08:00

Meant to blog about this yesterday since it was my boyfriend's proper birthdate but i got lazy..=P Sorry, baby~

So now i'm supposed to be working but too sick to walk straight and my baby is trying to fix up our new dining table chair. Haha~!

Right, back to the not so surprise,surprise party. Why is no longer a surprise party is because some stupid friend of his asked "Wei, how come u no invite me to your BBQ birthday tomorrow?" Another close friend of my baby,Caleb who help me to organise went "WTF, u stupid asshole!!" And he added "Haih, just pretend u dunno about the party,k? Or else your girlfriend would kill me."

LOL, u just have to have weird people or should i say stupid people who just don't know the meaning of thick face~! Luckily my boyfriend only told me this after the party was over, if not i'll punch that stupid guy! ISH~! My boyfriend was already suspecting something just that he dunno when i'm having the party and that guy have to blow it all~! Damn piss~!
Chris and me.. He's pretending to be surprise but is quite obvious he's not..=P Sorry baby.. Will organise it better next time!

The only surprise left was the other birthday boy, Christopher who knew about he party but thought it was for my boyfriend only. Well at least there were some surprise, better than none.The birthday boys.. both Chris and early Oct babies plus taking the same course.LOL! The only difference is Chris is 22 and Christopher is 21.

Nice smashes on the face!

This is Ah Soong with the beers in the bucket before the birthday boys comes back.

And the guys getting the BBQ ready. Smoke all over. I was being lazy and resting in Chris's room and Jo took this photo.. Hehe!

The birthday boys with their funny birthday present of suspenders. They had to several task before opening their present and it was really fun watching them doing the task. HEHE~!

And of coz proper presents, i got Chris a jacket and Jo got Christopher a squishy pillow. Nice, right?

i'll try to upload the vidoes later..So wait for my next post!

And Happy Birthday,baby and Christopher! Hope to enjoy the party~!

uni started and i feel stupid~!

2006-09-26T22:53:00.000+08:00

Class was spacey for me today.. totally ah beng's fault for telling me the class start at 9am when i saw it on the time table was 11am. So i woke up at 7.30am in case! Stupid me~! and it was nearly impossible to drag myself out of bed! i ussually sleep till 2pm and today i got up at 7.30am! So u can imaigine how spacey and blur i was. It doesn't with my non morning person attitude!I even did a very stupid thing! Call ah beng on my phone and thought he was Chris and call him baby! Nuts! I got so use to Chris's number being the first on the list that i just press without looking! ISH! And i already have course work to do! ARGH~! not helping with new groupmates who i have no idea what can they do! Feel so ridiculous explaining to them what to do and this and that~! I feel i'm in the wrong class~!

If u wondering who Chris is, he's the cute guy i met at the Merdeka Party! hehe~! I know, i know.. I had hots for him since like April or May! So is understandable! So u guys are gonna get lucky today coz i'm gonna post up his pic! =P

He's cute right? Cuter than me~! So jealous~! Haha...=P

argh!

2006-09-23T21:22:00.000+08:00

I have no idea what's wrong with my pics! they are gigantic even after i resize them at photobucket! totally messing up my background! trying to figure out what's wrong! But i'm wondering issit me or u guys can view it fine?

Anyway uni is starting next week and i'm feeling so lazy and brain rusty! This happens when u have 4 months of holiday~! This includes a little of self depression and i have no idea why! I was all excited about it last week and this week it seems i wish my holiday never end! So typical of me isn't it? mood changes like the weather!

And about why i was happy... i finally met up with the cute guy i was talking about for ages that studies in AU! Wow he's much cuter in person! haha! Too bad i dun have a picture of him. Shall post it up when i got it! =P

merdeka party~!

2006-09-22T10:18:00.000+08:00

I got back to Aberdeen on Merdeka's Day. And after a few hours of sleep, I'm out partying! I know I'm crazy, I'm suppose to be extra tired after 13 hours of bus ride.

But how can I miss the party! After I'm patriotic! ( yea, right~!=P)The party was great if there were more student than working adults!;P I'm mean! haha~! Sorry ning nong bell, u are not included. U are fun to hang out with,ok? I meant the boring working adults that kept to themselves and refuse to mingle with us kids!

Me and winnie being cute with the flag~! =P so bad right~! ( actually i was using it to cover my bloated tummy coz i ate too much! haha)

Group photos with more flags! =P

Me,Jessie and winnie posing! i know we are poser and photo whore but we just can't help it! haha~!

Posers~! hehe~!

Afterwards, we went clubbing though it was more like club hunting! haha~! we finally settle down at charliez after like 3-4 fail clubs! I felt great that night! was extremely happy so i drank a little too much and got myself in the state between tipsy and drunk! Dance like crazy and hangover the next day~! typical of the old indepedent me~! Wanna know why i'm so happy? That u will have to wait for my next post~!hehe~!

london trip~!!

2006-09-22T09:53:00.000+08:00

right...sorry everyone that i haven't update my blog for ages...i finally got over my writer's block..dun ask damn long story.. and i'm not particularly fond of talking about it..

Right, my holiday trip down to london was fantastic! Not only i met a nice guy to date, i had lotsa fun visiting around!! First stop was Chinatown, i feel so at home there! i miss chinese food so much! And i had a great dim sum meal! love the egg tart but i was too busy eating to take any pictures! so..too bad..hahaha~!

Trafalgar Square~!Gigantic lion statues and water fountains~! Btw, the weather was perfect!!!

The famous london eye! I wanted to ride it but the line was impossible! bloody long!! Just couldn't be bother to do it!

This is london aquarium if i'm not mistaken~! =P From outside u can see people doing the hooked bungee! looks fun but i didn't went in..haha~!

Another view of london eye from Jubilee Bridge~!

Tate Musuem, i think the owner is probably relate to my step father~! haha...just kidding~!

St Paul Cathederal across the thames river~!

And of coz the buckingham palace! i didn't go to pricess diana memorial though because it started raining heavily! =(

And the best story for the last! the guy i was dating when i was down in london! I met him over the internet before i went down to london. He's a nice guy and i like nice guys! ( who doesn't!=P)He's a hong kie mixed black guy which cool~~
he brought me around london too.. We took this picture at Camden~! They sell weird stuff at Camden.. u can find army prints clothing to thai style interior decoration! I like Camden alot~ good shopping place~! hahaha~!

Well things didn't work out with him.. I just can't do LDR( for u guys who dunno my term, is Long Distance Relationship)...I'm sorry, Sin Fung. But i'm glad i met u! take care~

my little lily~~

2006-08-24T07:19:00.000+08:00

i'm down at london now...hanging out with my friends...doing nothing really...haven't done any sight seeing...shall do that tomorrow if i can... my sleeping time is so fucking mess up...so much for staying up all night before taking my train down...MAinly because i'm afraid i'll miss the train ride at 6am... and i didn't go to bed till the next day 2am.. so now i'm sleeping during the day and waking up in the evening...

anyway... i was at hull meeting up with my stepfather and his family.. It was William's birthday..here's some pictures...

Little Lily and Agnes...Aren't they so cute??Little gems~

Anyway... i miss my plants....So worried that beng wouldn't be taking care of them...
hope my lilies are still this when i get home~~

"What Does Love Mean?"

2006-08-20T09:48:00.000+08:00

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of four through eight year olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in the way."

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love."

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth."

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your french fries without making them give you any of theirs."

"Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don’t yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings."

"Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired."

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."

"Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."

"When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you’re scared they won’t love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only do they still love you, they love you even more."

"There are two kinds of love: Our love and God’s love. But God makes both kinds of them."

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore."

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."

"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken."

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."

"I let my big sister pick on me because my Mom says she only picks on me because she loves me. So I pick on my baby sister because I love her."

"Love cards like Valentine’s cards say stuff on them that we’d like to say ourselves, but we wouldn’t be caught dead saying."

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you"

"You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."

"God could have said magic words to make the nails fall off the cross, but He didn’t. That’s love."

help me please~

2006-08-19T06:26:00.000+08:00

Please nominated my blog for me ya! Thank you~

Soul searching~

2006-08-19T05:45:00.000+08:00

I have decided to take a break and do some soul searching... Been lost for the past few months. Angry at all sort of things.. Doing crazy stuffs, getting myself into trouble and depressed...How crazy past few months have been..I can hardly believe it happened...

Been feeling lonely lately... Joey can't talk much coz she got a surgery.. So far she is the only person that can really understand what I am going through. Unable to talk to her sort of make me...Well...Blind. Not exactly blind just no one to turn to.. Especially after that incident.. Definitely leave a scar in me..

Also I realized, I need to rely on myself instead of others. Been spoiled in the past few years.. Have to find that tough girl back. So long ago it seem till I forgotten how to be one. LOL..All the sudden I miss being my old self. How I manage to live at that time always amazed myself. Leaving home and hard really hard time and somehow I manage to get through to it. Lessons of life are always so unpredictable!

So took 10 days break from work...Going traveling.. See my step father and grandfather at hull. Then going to London.. Hope to find my soul on the trip...Wish me lotsa luck!!

random opinion

2006-08-18T09:17:00.000+08:00

nacho libre sux! stupid movie! wasted my money! damn piss!! the guy is a bloody joke himself telling not funny jokes....ish...argh!!!

dreaming....

2006-08-10T09:45:00.000+08:00

Do u have a dream when u were young?

I used to dream a lot when I was I a small girl. How will I be when I grow up? I used to dream that I will be a princess living in a huge castle with lotsa servants to attend to me. A big big garden with my favourite flowers planted in nice traditional English gardens. And I will spend hours and hours in the garden, drinking tea and enjoy the smell of lavender.

I will be wearing big and nice gowns.You know those gowns that is big and fluffy! LOL! And always have a feast on the table. Filled with my favourite food such as sashimi, ramen, lotsa cheese topping of pizza and of course a giant turkey in the middle!

When u are dreaming to be a princess there is always a Prince Charming. The usual tall,dark and handsome. He will sweep me off my feet with his charm and gentle manners. Haha….

Come to think of it, I probably read too much fairytales. Life is never that perfect and always end with happy ending.

So when I got slightly older, my dreams become more practical and not so far fetched though still far from what I’m doing now.

So now is TV influence, I dream of becoming a famous person. Not sure it was singer or actress but just someone famous. There was a period of time I really wanted to be a famous astronaut! I got so serious about it that I ask my dad what should I study after high school and stuff! Lol luckily that never happened to be long! Probably I should be a really smart ass to do that. And also physically fit which I’m definitely NOT!!

As for now I just have a simple normal dream to achieve. To finish my studies, get a job and hopefully everyday of my life would be like this>>>>

Still a bit far fetched don't u think?

last week's achivement!

2006-08-08T04:59:00.000+08:00

I have no idea what wrong with blogger or my connection last week but i couldn't log in to blog at all~! So piss!! Anyway here's the update....

23th july
Had steamboat at my boss's house! Lotsa food~! The whole table was packed!!!

Look at Han Jian and Ah Beng's face! They can't wait to eat!!!

29th july
We were at my boss's house again to have lunch and after lunch we went to pick strawberries!!!Yum Yum!

30th july
Baked TWO raspberry and strawberry sponge cake~!It yummy~!!!

31th july
The strawberries we pick was going bad and there's too much to finish so i made them into jam!

And bake some chocolate chip cookies!

5th August
Tartan day in aberdeen! Lotsa men in kilts playing bagpipes! they close the main street for this parade!

today~!
i went to the strawberries farm again! can't stay away! with the summer nearly gone i'll have to wait till next year to pick my own strawberries!

glasgow trip..

2006-07-25T23:05:00.000+08:00

Woke up by the alarm at 5.15 am. Why to myself why did i get up so blooddy early? Then i remember that i'm going to Glasgow for a day shopping trip. Got on to the bus at 6.30 and went back to sleep.

Woke up when I reach Glasgow around 10 am. I love the Summer Sale! Everything is so cheap especially winter wear. I'm not going to spend any money for summer wear because i brought a whole of clothes from malaysia.

Love the columns, make me feel like i'm in Rome! haha~

Gigantic metal peacock! haha...

The glasgow trip gang!Roy's not in the picture because he took this photo..=P

Funny looking clock~!

My shopping spree! Love the boots! original price was 95 pound and i got it for 10 pound! So more is nine west! Best deal ever! I know i went to glasgow yesterday but i actually finish one of the book already! =P fast reader can't help it! 2 headband from Topshop for only 1 pound!!! The beanie chair is a bit pricey but is not a seasonal item so no bargain there...Got the candle because i love the holder. Only 95 pence! haha~!

That's all for now...Didn't took much nice picture...was too busy shopping! haha~

do i have a heart?

2006-07-25T08:18:00.000+08:00

I haven't been blogging as often as i should. Mainly because i don't have anything great to blog about.Ok not even petty stuff to blog about.

I realised lately that i don't have a heart anymore. No longer have passion for things i do nor wanting to do something. I'm used to a busy life and now all the sudden i have nothing to do except go to work on the weekend or clean up the house. this life is getting to my nerves. How could a person like me to be confined in my flat and doing endless chores? It seems the house gets messy once i turn my back on it. I'm not a very particular person when it comes to cleaniness but somehow there's a limit and my flat always seems dirty!

Working doesn't have any appeal to me anymore, i don't earn enough to support myself. I have looking for another job. It feels like i'm growing old before i should. Worring about bills and grocery. I hate feeling like a housewife though i'm not marry! Not especially now when i'm in my golden age of 21. Somehow 21 doesn't golden to me at all. It has been a horrible year. And it's only halfway through.

Had my heart broken too many times that now i feel i'm immune to it. I'll be upset for a few days then my life is back to normal again. When my heart was first broken it took me 2 years to get back on track. I'm starting to be merciless and don't really gave a fuck to anything. More like a unreasonable stubborn bitch! Things have to be done my way because somehow i feel i know more than others of my age. And it is a fact i been through alot compare to my circle of friends. They don't what pain and horrible experience i been through. Even if they know how would they understand? Most of them have a easy life, perfect family.

What do they know about my messy family trees? What do they know how hard have i work to get to where i am now? They wouldn't understand how i con my ways to get educations. Or how many times i was at the verge of death? (if u are thinking i had thoughts of killing myself u are dead wrong!!!)

Partically no one understand me, well not totally. And u know why? Because i don't let them. Even if i did, i doubt there's anyone will understand. Ok maybe 1 or 2 person might. But i can't let them, through all these hard years i learn not to trust anyone fully. I trust my friends but not totally. I rather rely on myself than others. Everyone has their own problems. So over the years, my heart seems to harden and lately dissapear....

earrings~

2006-07-20T19:06:00.000+08:00

Someone once asked me, how many pair of earrings do u actually have?

Guess what's my answer? I have no idea! And I seriously had no ideas. To those who know me well, understand my earrings crazy collection. To those that don't, I just love to collect earrings. Haha~

Anyway I was bloody free meaning nothing better else to do, I took out all my earrings and count. Mind you this is only mere half of my collection. Most of my earrings are back at home in Malaysia.

So now u know when u have no ideas of what to give me for my b'day, just get me earrings! Especially if they are butterfly shaped!!!

my new flat~!

2006-07-20T02:31:00.000+08:00

Wendy been bugging me forever to photoblog my flat! I took the pictures last week but just can't be bother to upload them..hehe..=P

So i shall start with the entrance~ ok i'm mean!! the shoe rack wasn't enough for me and i had to put one of my shoe at beng's level..hehe

The hallway is actually a 'L' shape so can't really take the pic properly..=P

NO BENG'S ROOM PICTURE...HEHE..

So moving on is the bathroom! Nice and spacey! Can have party in there..haha~

This is the first thing u will see when u come into the living room...i know is messy but beng is doing his IBT. So clean up after that then...

This is taken from my laptop seat of the living room.

The nice view of my laptop seat window.

Ok..let have a look at the kitchen..is not that fantastic but is big enough~

Another look at the living before going to my room.

My room is very messy at the time when i took the photo coz i reach back from msia and was in the process of unpacking...It's much better now...I'm not that messy..hehe~

And at another angle~

That's all for now...hehe...

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edited part:
Sorry about the pictures sizes.. stupid photobucket had to resize some of the pictures...

And prove that my room is clean! muahaha~!

Special thanks to Joey for this>>>> I love it so much~!!! haha~

p.s.: i finally installed my stat counter after been blogging for more than a year..hehe

Point of no return

2006-07-15T00:12:00.000+08:00

What would u do when u reach the point of no return?

regret the decision u make?

I probably would when I'm despair but after I cleared my mind, it was not a bad decision after all... Mistaken are to be learned and not forgotten. At least u see the true or should I say the dark side of it.

As the old say of mine goes, I WILL NEVER REGRET!

Stubborn? Maybe... Who knows?

back in aberdeen~

2006-07-13T07:55:00.000+08:00

I got back in Aberdeen two days ago...Very exhausted...Mess up sleep pattern again...
Waking up fucking early in the morning...wanna sleep by 7 or 8 pm....

I HATE JET LAG

The whole house is a mess...i think i have to spend whole weekend to clean everything up..I'm so bloody lazy, being sick doesn't much..I don't get it... Can people live with so much mess and i know i'm not the neatiest person on earth. My room is even worse...So many things! Can hardly walk, filled up with 3 persons things! hahaha~
p.s.Wendy: I wanna charge you!!! :p

Being back here make me miss everyone at home so much~ sob sob... Do you guys miss?

trust...

2006-07-10T22:14:00.000+08:00

Lately i have this problem with trust... I cannot trust others anymore... growing very paranoid... So paranoid sometime i wonder why can't i trust someone... Always worry that i'll get hurt..

Maybe with past bad experience with guys... My heart got broken too many times...

Don't break my heart is already as fragile as it could be... Scar is always there